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Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish...

2010-06-11T22:55:00.002+07:00

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish...

I heard this from Steve Jobs Stanford Graduation Speech... He claimed to have read it from The Whole World Catalog by Stewart Brand...

Steve described a photograph on the back cover of final issue of the Whole World Catalog
"an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous" and below that photograph... "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish..."

A message to live your life to the fullest... make it meaningful... and do the best you can...
A kick in the butt for me personally... to get out of my comfort zone... to stop complaining and actually bust my ass and do better!

Peace

Saturday...

2010-06-05T23:47:00.002+07:00

Isn't Saturday the best? The end of the week when you can relax... spend time for your self with your loved ones... just the time to rejuvenate your energy after a long week of hard work...
Well, my Saturdays are always half day of work... and every week I meet with my staff reviewing the week's progress... This week is no different, except I'm trying something new...
You see, Indonesian workforce has one major problem... Ethics... Skill wise we may be competitive but ethics wise we're far from standard... One thing that stands out to me is their sense of responsibility is so very lacking... They don't care if they don't complete tasks given to them.. which always makes me disappointed... I'm having a hard time relying on them and delegating works to them...
So my dad came up with this idea... he gave me a book... in Chinese it's called Di Zi Gui... 弟子规 ... It's a set of personal character building teachings by Confucius... It teaches us to become "students of life" ... it teaches us the correct attitude, correct behavior, and the correct life ethics... I decided to give it a try... Because I understands to really change or at least build a character you have to start from the very basic... and this book covers the basic of our human ethical standards...
Then, there I was the book on my left hand and I started preaching... The first teachings is about our devotion to our parents... how we should be thankful of our parents, respect them, honor them, appreciate them and most importantly love them... It got emotional... Confucius teachings about parents are deep and really hit the nail in the head... it makes us think back of the inappropriate things we've done as children... and the things we haven't done for our parents... Some of my staff got carried away... they cried... I mean... adult males in their 20's crying... I couldn't agree more that the words from the book is really meaningful... I even had goosebumps while I was reading it to them...
After I finished... my newest staff shared his experience on how he washed his mother's feet during Christmas last year... and drank the water from that washing to ask for his mother's forgiveness in whatever he may have done wrong to the family... Some didn't take his story seriously but I thanked him for sharing and told the rest of the group to really pay attention to what he had shared... Sometimes we forget... parents are the only one in our lives that would never ask for anything in return... and they are the only one that would always prioritize our purpose before theirs... I told them as I reflected to myself that I myself have not done enough and still infuriates my parents from time to time... I ended the session by reminding them to not take today's session granted... those who still has the time and opportunity... make sure you go to your parents... ask for their forgiveness and promise yourself to be devoted children...
In my point of view... today's session showed some sign of hope... that I can change or preach Ethics to them... given the right teachings and guidance... I'll continue to teach them starting from this book and as I go along I'll find other working ethics book, life ethics, and others...
In the evening I had planned to meet with my girlfriend and friends to hangout... unfortunately I had some unexpected guests... Two persons from Belitung (my home town) District Education Board came to Jakarta out of the sudden because their to other destination was canceled... so they decided to call me to accompany them... I ended up taking them to dinner and driving them to the hotel... With Jakarta's traffic, my weekend officially started at 8:30 pm local time... I joined my girlfriend and friends as they were karaokeing... I had one song and went home... My girlfriend was exhausted... she had low tolerance of loud music and cigarettes... Karaoke clubs are loud and full of cigarettes... bad choice to spend your weekend... but it's not my fault... I didn't plan the evening... :p We separate ourselves from the group as we went home earlier...
So there goes my Saturday... tomorrow morning I will go on biking my parents... So that'll be interesting...
Peace

Reborn...

2010-06-03T22:50:00.002+07:00

Sigit's blog is reborn with new layout... new and updated posts which will be updated regularly (I'll force myself to update)...
I just feel like writing and letting my feelings out lately... I revisited my blog yesterday... and all those writings and memories flashed back to me...
Those times were the greatest... even though I had my ups and downs but those are unforgettable memories... The best time of my life when I had my highest confidence level... being myself... carefree... and full of energy...
Things have changed now... I'm working... busting my ass off... trying to settle down...
I'm doing two jobs at the same time... my own family business and the whole association partnership in education business...
Maybe it's me who views it all wrong but what I've gone through lately has taken the best out of me...
I feel down... my self-esteem is at the lowest point ever... and I'm not being myself... I can't do anything right... I overthink everything and ended up always making the wrong decision...
I may give my blog a new life... but GOD do I wish I can be reborn... I want to be spirited as I used to be... full of motivation... full of dreams...
Anyways... it's a new blog alright... I just wish it's going to be a new me too!
Peace

Your Guardian Angel

2007-11-12T02:41:00.001+07:00

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel lyrics

When I see your smile 
Tears roll down my face I can't replace 
And now that I'm stronger I have figured out 
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul 
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one 

I will never let you fall 
I'll stand up with you forever 
I'll be there for you through it all 
Even if saving you sends me to heaven 

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. 

Seasons are changing 
And waves are crashing 
And stars are falling all for us 
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter 
I can show you I'll be the one 

I will never let you fall 
I'll stand up with you forever 
I'll be there for you through it all 
Even if saving you sends me to heaven 

'cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
'cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and 
Please tell me you'll stay, stay, yeah
Whoa-oh, stay, whoa

Use me as you will 
Pull my strings just for a thrill 
And I know I'll be ok 
Though my skies are turning gray, (gray) 

I will never let you fall 
I'll stand up with you forever 
I'll be there for you through it all 
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall 
I'll stand up with you forever 
I'll be there for you through it all 
Even if saving you sends me to heaven



Song lyrics | Your Guardian Angel lyrics

Celebrity Look Alike

2007-08-07T10:48:00.000+07:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Stephen Speaks - Out Of My League

2007-07-05T22:21:00.000+07:00

It's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away, and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way.
All the times I have sat and stared, as she thought fully thumbs through her hair.
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes and she plays with me, sitting there slack jawed and nothing to say.
'Cause I love her with all that I am, and my voice shakes along with my hands.
'Cause she's all that I see, and she's all that I need, and I'm out of my league once again.
It's a masterful melody, when she calls out my name to me.
As the world spins around her she laughs rolls her eyes and I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise.
'Cause I love her with all that I am, and my voice shakes along with my hands.
'Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea, but I rather be here than on land.
Yes, she's all that I see, and she's all that I need, and I'm out of my league once again.
It's her hair and her eyes todaythat just simply take me away,
and the feeling that I'm falling further in lovemakes me shiver but in a good way.
All the times I have sat and stared, as she thought fully thumbs through her hair.
As she purses her lips, bats her eyes and she plays with me, sitting there slack jawed and nothing to say.
'Cause I love her with all that I am, and my voice shakes along with my hands.
'Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea, but I rather be here than on land.
Yes, she's all that I see, and she's all that I need, and I'm out of my league once again.

What Happened on 7th of June 1984 in World's History?

2007-06-06T22:56:00.000+07:00

World History Timeline - 1984
Over 1,000 are killed when Prime Minister Indira Gandhi sends troops to the Sikh Golden Temple in India.
Madonna gets her first hit with ``Like a Virgin,'' and Prince releases his album Purple Rain.
The Olympic Games take place in Los Angeles and are boycotted by fourteen countries of the Soviet bloc.
John McEnroe wins both the Wimbledon and the U.S. Open tennis championships.
Shimon Peres becomes prime minister of Israel.
Apple Computer, founded by Stephen Wozniak and Steven Jobs, releases the Macintosh personal computer.
British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, a fan of the free market, privatizes telephone service.
Photographer Ansel Adams dies at age 82.
Famine in Ethiopia kills hundreds of thousands.
Incumbent Ronald Reagan wins re-election to the U.S. presidency. His Democrat opponents are Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro, who is the first woman to run for vice-president from a major political party.
"World History Timeline - 1984." 2007. The History Channel website. 6 Jun 2007, 11:59 http://www.history.com/wt.do?year=1984.

Well ladies and gentlemen, with a bit of my narcism, allow me to present to you that on that day too, the incredible Sigit Angdrew was born.
If I could be granted one wish for my bday... I would wish for everyone's happiness... we are living on a very challenging world nowadays... I wish that the bad would turn good and the good would be better...
There are those who are having love problems, there are those who are having family problems, there are those who are having work problems, and there are those who are having difficulty finding peace...
Thus, I pray for blessings upon all of us... Bless Y'all!

Our Deepest Fear

2007-05-25T12:19:00.000+07:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

by Marianne Williamson

Out of Reach

2007-05-20T23:13:00.001+07:00

Why....
Do I long for it so much but it's not meant to be?
Why...
Does it seem so close but it's to far to reach?
Why...
Do I have to be so greedy?
Why...
Do I fall into the circle of never-ending search?
Have you ever felt something you want so much... something you could picture that it would be very nice for you to have... but you just can't get it?
Have you ever felt that it's too good to be true... some dreams that you see beautiful that it just wouldn't happen?
How do you feel when that happen?
I've been feeling this for the past month... I see something that I like, I want, I desire... but something inside of me is pulling me back from getting it...
There are too many considerations... there are too many confusions... that prevent me from trying my best to obtain it...
Guess how it feels... It sucks I tell you... it's the worse feeling you could ever imagine...
I guess, you can't always get what you want, huh?!
Anyway... perhaps it's not my path... maybe it's not my luck... and probably not in my lifetime... but damn wouldn't that be the greatest dream ever...
Peace out

My Reality Check Bounced

2007-03-23T18:24:00.000+07:00

A Twentysomething's Guide to Taking Your Time & Finding Love
By Jason Ryan Dorsey

I'm a Twentysomething. Many of my guy friends are about the same age and single. For a few of them, their lack of a significant other is absolutely unbearable -- and not just on Valentine's Day. These guys are constantly falling in love with women they barely know. One date, two dates, and then they use the "L" word after dessert and a movie.
What are they thinking?
I usually get a distressed phone call or text message a few days later when they can't understand why the woman they've just met (but know for sure they love) is not returning their calls. They've only left 41 messages -- and that's after another 16 hang-ups. Maybe their true love lost her cell phone? No. Maybe the Internet is broken four miles away? No. Maybe they should drive by her house to talk personally? Heck no.
After a few more weeks and a dozen more whiny messages, these relationship-needy guys get the hint -- and so does the girl: stay away from guys who fall in love before the appetizer gets cold.
For the next few weeks, my brokenhearted friends mope around like the world is over. They keep asking themselves why the relationship didn't work out. They thought she was perfect. They thought she would make a great wife. They thought she would make a great mother. Mother! They haven't even met her mother. They haven't spent a Thanksgiving dinner trapped at her parents' house to see what the family is really like. Yet they pine for this goddess of love whose middle name they do not know.
What has led these intelligent Twentysomething men to this position of neediness, clinginess, and recurring heartbreak? A few factors are at work.
Great expectations, instant gratification
Many Twentysomethings have grown up always getting what they want. They got the clothes they want. They got the car they want. They begged for better grades and got those, too. And they're used to getting what they want immediately and on their own terms. They expect to walk into a coffee shop and get their triple-cream-mocha-latte with sprinkles made just for them, with their name written in bold green marker on the side of the cup to prove it. They also get their favorite DVDs delivered directly to their home, their emails forwarded to their phone, and up-to-the-minute weather bulletins displayed on their computer screen. They even have the option to get fresh groceries delivered, but they won't because they can't cook unless Mom helps.
In addition to being raised on instant everything, these consistently head-over-heels-in-love and heartbroken Twentysomethings have huge expectations. The real world hasn't always gone the way they wanted -- instead of making CEO in a year they make 4,000 copies in a day -- but they use their 12 credit cards to fill the self-esteem gap. After all, who needs to buy a red 3 Series BMW with chrome rims when you can lease it?
The one area in particular where these frustrated Twentysomethings have not yielded their expectations is meeting that special someone, falling passionately in love, and spending a lifetime traveling the world while their kid's diapers are changed by a nanny (okay, so maybe that's my dream).
Now add to this mix of high expectations and instant gratification the reality that many Twentysomethings grew up spending little quality time with their parents. Instead, they learned how to have a healthy adult relationship watching a combination of He-Man and HBO. Luckily, their parents have a chance to make up for lost time, since these Twentysomethings still live with them. But mooching off Mom and Dad can only last so long, 35 at the max, which adds to the motivation to find that special someone who knows how to wash underwear without turning it pink. All of which leads back to them rushing into love on the first date and saying so on the third. And why not share the L word while you are in line for lunch at an all-you-can eat $6.99 Chinese buffet? Is anywhere else truly more romantic?
Advice for the lovelorn
Guys, if you're a Twentysomething and consistently heartbroken in three dates or less, here's some advice your friends are probably too nice to give you:
Raise your standards -- having a shadow doesn't mean she's perfect for you
Start each relationship as friends
Take it slow
Recognize that someone out there is right for you
The secret to keeping that special person is to not scare them off on the first date. Make her laugh, feel comfortable, and want to hang out with you again. Give her a call a few days later, not a few times the next day. Have some casual conversations by phone. Let the relationship takes its natural course.
If you're not feeling the love, move on. And if you are feeling the love, don't say it right away! Instead, invite her on another date. And maybe, just maybe, she'll tell you the L word first.

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It's almost rare to see articles or a post that explains how men act like men. Well, I think this article posted on Yahoo Personals kind of explains a group of men's behaviour (wimpy whiny and sentimental men, which btw kind of like me:P).
I like the part where he says, we are used to getting everything instantly... when you're broke, you ask your parents for the pocket money... when you need a car, you drive your dad's jeep, when you're hungry, you yell at your maid to get you food, and even sometimes, when you long for girls, just brush your hair and voila! One is sitting next to you... I call that a Pimpin' Life style!!!
Nothing against all pimps because it's good that those pimps have that easy-goin life... But for those "half-pimp" sometimes you can't just get what you want all the time. Sometimes a girl you fond of, gives you a kick in the butt and dump you... or sometimes your work doesn't go like it should... or sometimes your friends are just against your will when you guys hang out... Well those are just the minor disappointments men will face... It just felt like a major letdown because we're not used to getting those bad things... like the article says, we're used the easy and happy life... so that's why some men will be freaked out when a date is not going well.
I think this article applies well to me too... I'm a TwentySomething guy... I've had heartbreaks I've faced crazy working environment, I've had many letdowns, and I've faced irrational friends and family before... but hey... those are just the reality check bouncing hard to you and zapping you back to reality. For most sentimental guys like myself, our biggest letdowns might be girls... This article kind of gives us tips to be careful with our steps... I gotta admit, I am clueless when it comes to how to treat a girl...
Keep in mind that girls aren't instant noodles or Frozen pizza... They're like gourmet meal that need a lot of cooking and attention:D (Crazy metaphor, huh?!) So like any great cooking, it takes time to prepare them. Expect some disappointments but also don't cry over a spoiled milk (and again with the food and beverages metaphor:P). Any letdowns you had just reminds you that life isn't as easy and fun as you think. Stop being a wimp whiny sonofagun (kind of saying that to myself :P)
A'ight... some inspirational post from the GiTz!
Peace

2007-02-23T23:41:00.000+07:00

SEPERATED
by : Usher

If love was a bird, then we wouldn't have wings,
If love was a sky, we'd be blue,
If love was a choir, you and I could never sing,
Cuz love isn't for me and you
If love was an oscar, you and I could never win,
Cuz we could never act out our parts
If love is the bible, then we are lost in sin,
Cuz it's not in our hearts
So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life
And I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off...seperated
If love was a fire, then we have lost the spark,
Love never felt so cold
If love was the light, then we're lost in the dark,
Left with no one to hold
If love was a sport, we're not on the same team,You and i are destined to lose
If love was an ocean, then we are just a stream,
Cuz love isn't for me and you
Why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life
And I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off...seperated
Girl I know we had some good times,It's sad but now, we gotta say goodbye,
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny,
You can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I,
I know it hurts, so much but it's best for us,
Somewhere along this windy road you know we lost the trust,
So I'll walk away, so you don't have to see me cry,It's killing me, so,
why don't you go
Why don't you go your way (ohhh)
And I'll go mine (baby)
Live your life (ooo)
And I'll live mine (I'll live mine)
Baby you'll do well (I'll be fine)
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off, so much better off
Go your way (Go your way)
And I'll go mine (I'll go mine)
Live your life (Your life)
I'll live mineYou'll do well (ohh hoo)
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off, soooo much beeeeetter off
So much better off...
Seperated
I'm sorry we didn't make it ...

Remarks:
I've known this song for a long time... but I've never paid attention to the lyrics... until I read it the other day on a friend's blog... Well... I'm not feeling the song... and I most certain some of you are not reflecting your past with this song... just thought that the lyrics is so deep with all the allegory... Just me being carried away with the lyrics I think...
Enjoy guys...

Cupid

2007-02-15T01:38:00.000+07:00

Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me, for me
Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Now, I don't mean to bother you but I'm in distress
There's danger of me losin' all of my happiness
For I love a girl who doesn't know I exist
And this you can fix
So, Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me
Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Now, Cupid if your arrow make a love storm for me
I promise I will love her until eternity
I know between the two of us her heart we can steal
Help me if you will
So, Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me
Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Now, Cupid, don't you hear me
Callin' you, I need you
Cupid, help me

By Sam Cooke

Cupid and Psyche

2007-02-14T22:02:00.000+07:00

Copied from Wikipedia: Eros (Cupid) and Psyche:
The goddess Aphrodite (in Roman mythology, Venus), jealous of the beauty of a mortal woman named Psyche, asked her son Eros (in Roman mythology, Cupid) to use his golden arrows to cause Psyche to fall in love with the ugliest man on earth. Eros agreed but then fell in love with Psyche on his own, or by accidentally pricking himself with a golden arrow.
When all continued to admire and praise Psyche's beauty but none desired her as a wife, Psyche's parents consulted an oracle which told them to leave Psyche on the nearest mountain, for her beauty was so great that she was meant for a god. So it was done. But then Zephyrus, the west wind, carried Psyche away to a fair valley and a magnificent palace where she was attended by invisible servants until night fell and in the darkness of night the promised bridegroom arrived and the marriage was consummated. Eros visited her every night and they made love; he demanded only that she never light any lamps because he did not want her to know who he was.
Eros even allowed Zephyrus to take Psyche back to her sisters and bring all three down to the palace during the day, only warning that Psyche should not listen to any argument that she should try to discover his true form. The two jealous sisters told Psyche, then pregnant with Eros' child, that rumor was that she had married a great and terrible serpent who would devour her and her unborn child when her time came for it to be fed. They urged Psyche to conceal a knife and oil lamp in the bedchamber, to wait till her husband was asleep, and then to light the lamp and slay him at once if it was as they said. Psyche sadly followed their advice. In the light of the lamp Psyche recognized the fair form on the bed as the god Eros himself, and cursing her folly, turned to run, but a drop of oil fell from Psyche's lamp and onto Eros' chest and he awoke, then fled, causing Psyche to mourn her stupidity.
The god Pan, who was nearby, advised Psyche to seek to regain Eros' love through service.
Psyche returned to her old home and told her two, jealous, elder sisters what had happened; they rejoiced secretly while "comforting" her and each separately returned to the top of the peak, hoping that Eros would pick them instead, but this time Zephyrus did not bear them and they fell to their deaths at the base of the mountain.
Psyche searched far and wide for her lover, finally stumbling into a temple to Demeter (in Roman mythology, Ceres) where all was in slovenly disarray. As Psyche was sorting and clearing, Demeter appeared, but refused any help but advice, saying Psyche must call directly on Aphrodite, the jealous shrew that caused all the problems in the first place. Psyche next called on Hera (in Roman mythology, Juno) in her temple, but Hera, superior as always, said the same. So Psyche found a temple to Aphrodite and entered it. Aphrodite ordered Psyche to separate all the grains in a large basket of mixed kinds before nightfall. An ant took pity on Psyche and with its ant companions separated the grains for her.
Aphrodite was outraged at her success and told her to go to a field where golden sheep grazed and get some golden wool. A river-god told Psyche that the sheep were vicious and strong and would kill her, but if she waited until noontime, the sheep would go to the shade on the other side of the field and sleep; she could pick the wool that stuck to the branches and bark of the trees. Aphrodite next asked for water from the Styx and Cocytus flowing from a cleft that was impossible for a mortal to attain and was also guarded by great serpents. This time an eagle performed the task for Psyche. Aphrodite, outraged at Psyche's survival, claimed that the stress of caring for her son, made depressed and ill as a result of Psyche's unfaithfulness, had caused her to lose some of her beauty. Psyche was to go to the Underworld and ask Persephone, the queen of the Underworld, for a bit of her beauty in a box that Aphrodite gave to Psyche. Psyche decided that the quickest way to the Underworld would be to throw herself off some high place and die and so she climbed to the top of a tower. But the tower itself spoke to her and told her the route through Tanaerum that would allow her to enter the Underworld alive and return again, as well as telling her how to get by Cerberus by throwing him a sop and Charon by paying him an obol, how to avoid other dangers on the way there and back, and most importantly to eat of no food whatsoever; for otherwise she would dwell forever in the Underworld. Psyche followed the orders explicitly and ate nothing while beneath the earth.
However when Psyche had got out of the Underworld, she decided to open the box and take a little bit of the beauty for herself. Inside, she could see no beauty; instead an infernal sleep arose from the box and overcame her. Eros, who had forgiven Psyche, flew to her, wiped the sleep from her face, put it back in the box, and sent her back on her way. Then Eros flew to Mount Olympus and begged Zeus to aid them. Zeus called a full and formal council of the gods, and declared it was his will that Eros might marry Psyche. Zeus then had Psyche fetched to Mount Olympus, and gave her a drink made from Ambrosia, granting her immortality. Although some say their daughter was named Bliss, and some say she was named Delight, the meaning of the name was intended to be joyful. Begrudgingly, Aphrodite and Psyche forgave each other.

Hehehe, just some Greek Myths about Cupid... dedicated to all of you readers... in the moment and atmosphere of Valentine's Day, I present to you this story... why? Because I'm bored of St. Valentine's story and not to mention Romeo and Juliet or other lovers' romantic story out there... I was trying to think of something better and out of the ordinary... and found this romantic Greek Myth of Cupid, the believed to be God of Love himself... He didn't have a good love life as well... but in the end he got the love of his heart...

Greek Mythology is my favorite of all time... it contains romance, war, affair, and all other conflicts of the Gods that almost make them look human... It really portrays Human's Life just with Super Power and control on their hands:P

It may not be meaningful as other Valentine's Day story but I'm sure that the story of Cupid and Psyche is also a great story to share with y'all...

Budi is one of my friends who doesn't think V'day as any special event... Well it may be true... when you love someone... you love them day after day, night after night... Not just showering them with Chocolate Bars or Red Roses once a year... if you put it that way, it sounds kind of bogus don't you think? :P

Anyway, it's just one of my idealistic, random post to celebrate V'day...

Happy V'day y'all!

Peace

Till Death Do Us Part

2007-02-09T23:51:00.000+07:00

Ok guys.... let's play a little game... look at the picture posted above... guess... is it for real? or is it a computer-animated fake picture?

well... it's a real picture... (click title link to view the article) In Italy, Archeologists discovered a pair of hugging skeletons... it is believed that these skeletons came from the Neolitic era which approximately 5,000-6,000 years ago... The couple were believed to be of the opposite sex and based on the teeth observation, it was believed that the couple were still young on the time of their death...

Prehistoric Romeo and Juliet... that was the title of the news I read from various of online newspaper on Feb 7th 2007... I found the news while I was bored working and decided to browse the latest news around the world... and I found this interesting yet some people may find me geeky...

5,000-6,000 years ago was long before Shakespeare was born... Could Shakespeare perhaps heard of this story of young couple who died together and was inspired to write Romeo and Juliet? Well, that perhaps is a wild prediction... but the founding of the hugging skeletons really proved romance had definitely existed long before we know it...

For an idealistic fellow such as myself, I might say,"Till Death Do Us Part" is true after all... People have changed with the course of time... and in today's world: divorce, infidelity, and love affairs have taken over the idea of romance... it's a shame... For someone to find one's true love is the greatest gift one could ever ask for... and for couple to value that true love together is heaven on earth.... just like the two neolitic people found in excavation... to live a life and end a life together with someone you love must be everybody's dream... well at least, it's mine...

So imagine this 5,000 years ago... (when human still look like monkeys I presume) we have already known how to hug, how to love, how to die with someone you love... why can't we today? We are supposedly more intelligent than we used to back then... I mean when you have someone you love right now... please pretty pretty pretty please... love them wholeheartedly... cherish them, appreciate them... and give them your all... Till Death Do Us Part!

Peace

From Budi's Bulletin Board

2007-01-31T11:21:00.000+07:00

If I were a month i would be:** June! My birth month of course!
If I were a day of the week I would be:** Saturday... time to have fun!
If I were a time of the day I would be:** after working hours... the most relaxing time of the day
If I were a planet I would be:** Mercury, Neptune and Pluto when it was still a planet... Greedy eh:P
If I were a sea animal I would be:** Anything... I love all sea animals
If I were a direction I would be:** East and West... so I can be the first to see sun rise and the last to see sun set
If I were a piece of furniture I would be:** cozzy sofa no question asked...
If I were a sin I would be:** Lust (sama kyk budi... yeah we're pimps!)
If I were a historical/mythical object Iwould be:** Budi said Excalibur, I said Kapak Naga 212nya Wiro Sableng
If I were a liquid I would be:** Pure Water
If I were a stone, I would be:** Diamond, yeah!
If I were a tree, I would be?:** Budi said Money Tree, if it does exist I want it too...
If I were a bird, I would be:** Budi said Phoenix, I said Garuda:P (me being patriotic)
If I were a tool, I would be:** Hammer... so I can hit and crush!
If I were a flower/plant, I would be:** Cactus!!!
If I were a kind of weather, I would be:** Rainy...
If I were a mythical creature, I would be:** Dragon, Unicorn, Elves, Leprechaun... hehehe
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:** Harmonica
If i were an animal I would be:** Hedgehog or Porcupine
If I were a color, I would be:** Blue
If I were an emotion, I would be:** Happiness juga deh...
If I were a vegetable, I would be:** Carrots....?
If I were a sound, I would be:** Sounds of Waves
If I were an element, I would be:** Water
If I were a car, I would be:** BMW
If I were a song, I would be:** Take Me to Your Heart - MLTR
If I were a movie, I would be:** Lord of The Rings Trilogy
If I were a sonnet, I would be writtenby:** Shakespeare, sama kayak Budi
If I were a food, I would be:** Too many to mention
If I were a place, I would be:** sama kyk Budi: Hawaii
If I were a taste, I would be:** Salty
If I were a scent, I would be:** The smell of new printed money.... $$$
If I were a religion, I would be:** Buddhist or free thinker...
If I were a word, I would be:** any curse words? LOL no no no... I think it'll be... Freedom
If I were a body part I would be:** Budi said eyes, I said eyes too but I'll prefer Blue Eyes:P
If I were a facial expression I would be:** Budi :) Sigit ;)
If I were a subject in school I would be:** Budi said Sexology I said Legal environment of Business.... no I was kidding... Sexology for sure!!!!
If I were a cartoon character I would be:** Stich!!!
If I were a shape I would be:** Circle....
Intermezzo in January guys...
Peace

New Year Resolution

2007-01-03T17:20:00.000+07:00

First of all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to y'all!
I know it's a bit late for the holiday wishes but wish y'all had a great Christmas and New Year celebration!
Now, I think it's a good time to get started with New Year Resolution....
My New Year Resolution:

Work Harder!!!
Earn More $$$
Lose More Weight!!!
Start to Work Out!!!
Play More Basketball
Play More Badminton (C'mon Bud, I'll challenge you when you're back!)
Hang out with my friends more often...
Spend more time with family...
Change of Attitude,
and Follow the Flow of 2007...

When I take another look at it, it seems to me like a lousy resolution but hell... at least I got ten things there!!! Whaddya got there?! Anyway... if 2006 has taught me something... it has taught me that good things come with price... We gotta work hard for what we want... coz good things are earned...

Sometimes though... effort is just not enough... 2006 also taught me that sometimes, no matter what you sacrifice it's still not enough... What can you do when that happen? Keep on trying, keep on fighting... When what you do is not enough it means you're not yet ready to receive it... so you gotta work harder, fight harder, and perhaps sacrifice more for the better!

I'd like to start 2007 with a positive spirit... and reflect back on what I did wrong in 2006... I don't wish to do the same mistake... but I believe I'll still do some mistakes so I can keep on fixing myself...

So guys... welcome 2007!!! It's another year... it means we're growing a year older... and we should be wiser, smarter, and better!

Btw, before I forget in 2006, friends have supported me when I'm down... rockbottom down... if I may say... to all friends out there... cheers!!! Thank you very much for all your support... and please keep in touch...

Peace

Shaw's Tragedies in Life

2006-12-28T22:03:00.000+07:00

Lucas: George Bernard Shaw once wrote, "There are two tragedies in life; one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it." "Shaw was right: as we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame, we ignore what truly matters. The simple things: like friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had."
Brooke: George Bernard Shaw once wrote:"There are two tragedies in life; one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it."Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice.
Haley: This year, I got everything I wanted and everything I wished for… but, in a way, I lost even more.
Nathan: As far as I’m concerned, Shaw was a punk. Cuz you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. Because you are, and that pain you feel... it’s life. The confusion and fear… that’s there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better. And that something is worth fighting for.
Peyton: "People always leave. But sometimes they come back."Peyton: Yeah, losing your heart's desire is tragic. But gaining your heart's desire...It's all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic...then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world.
~Quoted from One Tree Hill Episode: The Tide That Left and Never Came Back~

I think Shaw is partially right. It's true that You won't lose what your heart desires if you never have it. Shaw was being cynical of this life; whenever you get something, there's a risk to lose it. But, what can you do? You win something you lose something. Each of the quotes above hold some true to some extent.
Lucas felt we often search for something we really desire while actually we don't realize we lost too much that's much more important to us.
Brooke knows of it feels to get her heart broken... she felt the quote is obvious. Losing your heart's desire is tragic... While getting what you want... depends on yourself. How you deal with what you've got. Try to treasure what you have now cuz again losing it is tough...
Haley realized how getting something means losing others... Sometimes we even put the most important thing in our life on the line.
Nathan was being tough because he lost the love of his life. And nothing is much more painful than that... He's trying to remind us that life is never meant to be our way and we gotta fight when it's not...
Peyton was also being positive in a way, we would obviously thankful of getting what we desire and it's irrational that you're sad when you're getting what you want.

I have lost what my heart desire the most many times... and have never thought for a single moment that gaining what you want is actually tragic... Perhaps Shaw is right... perhaps getting something just means that you must be ready and prepared when you lose it... But I agree with Nathan... Fight like hell! Losing something means there's something greater and better to fight for! Pain is life, confusion and fear are our reminder to always look up bounce back and never give up...
I wish it was all that easy... but hell, I got nothing else to lose right now... I know some of my friends are also dealing the same thing with me... guys... let's fight together for something better out there!
So what if getting what you want is tragic? Can't you never want anything for the rest of your life? It's all the risk you gotta take... and we all just have to be ready for it! Let's fight!
Peace

It took 10 months and 4 days

2006-12-21T17:27:00.000+07:00

Irony oh irony... it took us ten months and four days...
Add those numbers up, what'ya get? 14... a freaking fourteen...
10 months and 4 days ago from 18th of December 2006 was Valentine's day 14th of February 2006...
14th of February 2006 was the day both of us got together... and shall I explain what happened 10 months and 4 days later? hehehe... anyway not trying to be bitter here... it's just, our life is full of irony...
During those time, I had some of the greatest time in my life...
During those time, I had some of the saddest time in my life...
Thanks for all the great times...
Sorry for all the sad times...
I realize that I'm not the greatest person you've ever met...
I realize that I found the best of me in you...
Perhaps... it's not meant to be...
We now walk our own separate ways...
I wish you the best... Take care... and let us close that chapter of our life...
It's now time to write on a new page... Hopefully it'll be a happy ending story...
Urs,
GiTz

A Soldier's Letter

2006-12-14T21:08:00.000+07:00

Bullets firing everywhere...

Big bang here and there...

Blood stench fill the air...

I've seen many scenes many won't ever dream to see...

I've been in places nobody ever want to be...

Sometimes I wonder if people will remember me...

For those who are always happy...

Consider yourself lucky...

C'oz not everybody has the luxury...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A year has gone by... since I entered the war...

But yet today is the day I would never forget...

I've been shot on my left thigh...

I've got a deep cut on my right arm...

The ammo I carried on my back, feels heavier than before...

My feet are sore from walking the distance...

I can't feel my chest...

I think I may have broken some ribs...

But yet I'm still standing here...

Keeping my guards up...

Looking out for enemies...

They're everywhere...

I can smell 'em...

They've been attacking us for months...

But a few days ago... things turn from bad to worse...

I was attacked... and my only friend in this war left me...

It's like a boomerang... something you rely to protect you... turns out to hunt for you...

So y'all be ready... life is war... expect the unexpected...

It's no time to be mama boy... don't think life is good... don't think life is beautiful...

It's beautiful alright... if you can just nuke 'em...

It's peace that I want... so help me God...

Stop this...

Peace

Reformatting

2006-12-11T22:30:00.000+07:00

Reformatting... a process where a computer is resetted to its desirable settings according to the user's needs.
I wish I have that option for my mind... My mind is full... and it has no more capability to think... whenever I think or process some input commands to it... my mind would go "hang."

Some people told me to defrag my mind... but even though I haven't tried it, I don't think it would work.

Some people told me to delete some files and uninstall some programs I don't need, so it won't be such a cluster anymore... but apparently some of it has been infected by unknown viruses...

I tried to install an antivirus... it worked for a while... but it seems like the viruses are tougher than I thought... The other problem is my mind is connected to a network full of information that could highly be threats to my mind... Seems like one problem is tackled and the other one is already waiting and saying, "I got the next game, brotha!"

I also tried restoring to an earlier restore point... but everytime I restore... seems like there's more and more error files corrupting my system... new error and corrupted files too!

I haven't tried reformatting... which some people really don't suggest me do... but I've been struggling too long to fix this problem... It's the only way to settle it once and for all... if I want to survive... If I can start fresh... having a mind like a baby... that would be wonderful! Of course I need to reinstall some of my important operation softwares but damn it... I'll do it to save my mind disk now!

y'know... some people also told me that I'm overusing my mind disk for things that shouldn't be done by it... kind of hard to not use your mind nowadays... just like it's hard to get away from your computer for your daily routines isn't it... or should I just dump it and get me a new mind disk?

Peace...

December?

2006-12-07T23:12:00.000+07:00

First of all, two posts in two days... this is something pretty amazing for my blog...
December, the month of snow, cold blistering winter, plenty of food, christmas... it's a month full of joy, laughter, happiness and love...
For some of us, December brings the most unforgettable memories... as the event of Christmas is an event that brings a joyful aura...where most of us celebrate welcoming the greatest holiday in human's life.... For some of us, is the month of unbelievable moments... sharing it with the one you love... For some of us, it's a spiritual month... a time where they'd like to get even closer to their creator...
But for me... funny how this would sound... it's the worse month in the whole year... this has been going on since I don't know when... All I could remember is that, I was always faced with the hardest things in December... Heartbreak, farewells, and many sad and teary things... dont get me wrong, I like the atmosphere of Christmas... but there's always something spoiling the holiday...
I was hoping this year would be different... but I don't think that would happen... I couldn't predict the future... but I do see signs where I would get hit with something... You know, time like this is when you really wanna get away... forget about all... but I don't seem to have that luck... I've been trying to remind myself that it's just my stupid mind that has created the bad December aura... but believe me... I have had it since I could remember...
It's my nature to care about people... especially those who are close to me... I can't mention names here but I don't want you guys to end up having bad December like me... so y'all please take care... most people I know won't even read my blog... but I wish to God, y'all be blessed...
Some of you are lost... looking for something... I hope this December, you could find what you're looking for...
Some of you lose part of your life... I hope this December, you could gain your spirit and move on with life...
Some of you drifting with your surroundings... keep on drifting but I hope the current is warm even in December...
Some of you are achieving something new... I hope this December could mark your start in a better position...
All of you are right here... in my heart... and in my mind... and I hope y'all have a great December!!!
To somebody who won't look at this blog... I don't even know why I would write this... love is hard to find... some people look for it their whole life... like me... I believe in love and I look for love in life... but seems like some people took it for granted... don't be one of those... you'll regret it... it's not easy for someone to give their love, their care, and their feelings... you have those but you seems to be playing with it... careful, love is like fire... it can light up your life but it'll also burn you up.
Peace

Letterbox

2006-12-06T09:49:00.000+07:00

The sound of letterbox opened and closed woke me in the middle of the night. I thought I heard it and I was pretty sure I heard it.
I pulled myself from the bed and drag my heavy steps to the letterbox. Suddenly, my palms were sweaty. It's the middle of the night, the postman wouldn't be the one who sounded the letterbox... But I've been waiting for the letter to come for so long... and I didn't want to miss a single second from reading it... Though not logical, I stood in front of the letterbox, opened it and there was nothing...
Disappointed? Kind of...
Perhaps... something happened? No, it couldn't...
I headed back, opened the door and went up to my room... I thought to myself ... how could I hear the letterbox? Could I be dreaming? Or was I crazy? Before I knew it, I started to think about crazy things... and I couldn't sleep...
Anybody in the right mind would have known... postman wouldn't deliver your letters in the middle of the night... Next time, before I'd even go and check... I would think about it...
And... when you're very eager to hear from someone... you would know... waiting... missing... and thinking about someone... is a real killer...
The next morning... the sun greeted me... unwillingly, I had to start the day and continue my life... but last night's nightmare still haunted my mind...
I'd like to seek peace... peace in my mind... peace in my heart...
How long should I bear this misery? Wondering and thinking to myself... am I walking on a one way street? If so... one day... one day... I'll crash... be prepared...
Peace
PS: I don't know why I wrote it... I guess it's what I have in mind:P Don't be surprised... I can be weird sometimes:P

Addicted

2006-10-10T11:09:00.000+07:00

Addicted...
pathetic... when u know something is bad for you... but u still taking it
pathetic... when u got a taste of something and just can't get enough of it...
Difference between it is just as thin as a piece of paper...
Peace

Endangered Species

2006-09-15T15:33:00.000+07:00

Why I Will Never Have A Girlfriend
Tristan MillerGerman Research Center for Artificial Intelligence1
20 December 1999
Why don't I have a girlfriend?
This is a question that practically every male has asked himself at one point or another in his life. Unfortunately, there is rarely a hard and fast answer to the query. Many men try to reason their way through the dilemma nonetheless, often reaching a series of ridiculous explanations, each more self-deprecating than the last: "Is it because I'm too shy, and not aggressive enough? Is it my opening lines? Am I a boring person? Am I too fat or too thin? Or am I simply ugly and completely unattractive to women?" When all other plausible explanations have been discounted, most fall back on the time-honoured conclusion that "there must be Something Wrong™ with me" before resigning themselves to lives of perpetual chastity.2
Not the author, though. I, for one, refuse to spend my life brooding over my lack of luck with women. While I'll be the first to admit that my chances of ever entering into a meaningful relationship with someone special are practically non-existent, I staunchly refuse to admit that it has anything to do with some inherent problem with me. Instead, I am convinced that the situation can be readily explained in purely scientific terms, using nothing more than demographics and some elementary statistical calculus.
Lest anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my three criteria for the match. First, the potential girlfriend must be approximately my age — let's say 21 plus or minus three or four years. Second, the girl must be beautiful (and I use that term all-encompassingly to refer to both inner and outer beauty). Third, she must also be reasonably intelligent — she doesn't have to be Mensa material, but the ability to carry on a witty, insightful argument would be nice. So there they are — three simple demands, which I'm sure everyone will agree are anything but unreasonable.
That said, I now present my demonstration of why the probability of finding a suitable candidate fulfilling the three above-noted requirements is so small as to be practically impossible — in other words, why I will never have a girlfriend. I shall endeavour to make this proof as rigorous as the available data permits. And I should note, too, that there will be no statistical trickery involved here; I have cited all my sources and provided all relevant calculations3 in case anyone wishes to conduct their own independent review. Let's now take a look at the figures.
Number of people on Earth (in 1998): 5 592 830 000 [WP98, Table A-3]
We start with the largest demographic in which I am interested — namely, the population of this planet. That is not to say I'm against the idea of interstellar romance, of course; I just don't assess the prospect of finding myself a nice Altairian girl as statistically significant. Now anyway, the latest halfway-reliable figures we have for Earth's population come from the United States Census Bureau's 1999 World Population Profile [WP98]. Due presumably to the time involved in compiling and processing census statistics, said report's data is valid only as of 1998, so later on we'll be making some impromptu adjustments to bring the numbers up to date.
…who are female: 2 941 118 000 [WP98, Table A-7]
I'd've thought that, given the title of this essay, this criterion goes without saying. In case anyone missed it, though, I am looking for exclusively female companionship. Accordingly, roughly half of the Earth's population must be discounted. Sorry, guys.
…in "developed" countries: 605 601 000 [WP98, Table A-7]
We now further restrict the geographical area of interest to so-called "first-world countries". My reasons for doing so are not motivated out of contempt for those who are economically disadvantaged, but rather by simple probability. My chances of meeting a babe from Bhutan or a goddess from Ghana, either in person or on the Internet, are understandably low. In fact, I will most likely spend nearly my entire life living and working in North America, Europe, and Australia, so it is to these types of regions that the numbers have been narrowed.
…currently (in 2000) aged 18 to 25: 65 399 083 [WP98, Tables A-3 & A-7]
Being neither a pedophile nor a geriatrophile, I would like to restrict my search for love to those whose age is approximately equal to my own. This is where things get a bit tricky, for two reasons: first, the census data is nearly two years old, and second, the "population by age" tables in [WP98] are not separated into individual ages but are instead quantized into "15–19" (of whom there are 39 560 000) and "20–44" (population 215 073 000). Women aged 15 to 19 in 1998 will be aged 17 to 21 in 2000; in this group, I'm interested in dating those 18 or older, so, assuming the "15–19" girls' ages are uniformly distributed, we have
Similarly, of 1998's "20–44" category, there are now
females within my chosen age limit. The sum, 66 059 680, represents the total number of females aged 18 to 25 in developed countries in 2000. Unfortunately, roughly 1% of these girls will have died since the census was taken;4 thus, the true number of so-far eligible bachelorettes is 65 399 083.
…who are beautiful: 1 487 838
Personal attraction, both physically and personality-wise, is an important instigator of any relationship. Of course, beauty is a purely subjective trait whose interpretation may vary from person to person. Luckily it is not necessary for me to define beauty in this essay except to state that for any given beholder, it will probably be normally distributed amongst the population.5 Without going into the specifics of precisely which traits I admire, I will say that for a girl to be considered really beautiful to me, she should fall at least two standard deviations above the norm. From basic statistics theory, the area to the left of the normal curve at z = 2 is
and so it is this number with which we multiply our current population pool.
…and intelligent: 236 053
Again, intelligence can mean different things to different people, yet I am once more relieved of making any explanation by noting that it, like most other characteristics, has a notionally normal distribution across the population. Let's assume that I will settle for someone a mere one standard deviation above the normal; in that case, a further
of the population must be discounted.
…and not already committed: 118 027
I could find no hard statistics on the number of above-noted girls who are already married, engaged, or otherwise committed to a significant other, but informal observation and anecdotal evidence leads me to believe that the proportion is somewhere around 50%. (Fellow unattached males will no doubt have also noticed a preponderance of girls legitimately offering, "Sorry, I already have a boyfriend" as an excuse not to go on a date.) For reasons of morality (and perhaps too self-preservation), I'm not about to start hitting on girls who have husbands and boyfriends. Accordingly, that portion of the female population must also be considered off-limits.
…and also might like me: 18 726
Naturally, finding a suitable girl who I really like is no guarantee that she'll like me back. Assuming, as previously mentioned, that personal attractiveness is normally distributed, there is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive. In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. In that case, referring to our previous calculation, only 15.8655% of females would consider someone with my physical characteristics and personality acceptable as a potential romantic partner.
Conclusion
It is here, at a pool of 18 726 acceptable females, that we end our statistical analysis. At first glance, a datable population of 18 726 may not seem like such a low number, but consider this: assuming I were to go on a blind date with a new girl about my age every week, I would have to date for 3493 weeks before I found one of the 18 726. That's very nearly 67 years. As a North American male born in the late 1970s, my life expectancy is probably little more than 70 years, so we can safely say that I will be quite dead before I find the proverbial girl of my dreams. Come to think of it, she'll probably be dead too.

After reading Sigit then Wrote :
I'm bored... so I came across this web site by accident... it turned up to be a nice reading...
Psycho but nice:P
Based on the calculation... it would be hard for us guys to date and actually get a girlfriend. For some reason... I was so happy when I read this... I don't know why... maybe because there's some psycho blood flowing inside of me... but seriously... my point of bringing this to blog and yahoogroups is that I want guys to appreciate their girlfriend better... and sadly... this would mean girls have the advantage:P Ok2... not trying to be sexist or start gender wars...
Now I understand what the saying "one in a million" really means. If you've got one... treasure them... Even though, you argue a lot, fight a lot, disagree a lot, and hate each other a lot... deep inside if there's love...appreciate your opposite sex.
My GF might not read this... but I just wanna say... thanks for always being a great girlfriend!
So there you go... hope somewhere inside the reading could enlighten all of you.
Peace

Ups and Downs

2006-09-01T16:52:00.000+07:00

Hey Y'all....
I need to first thanks all of you who's been in my support... I don't need to mention any names even though all of you who read my blogs are actually the one whose been supporting me LOL...
Ok... Let's see.... Breathe innnnnn..... and outttttttttt
sigh.....
I need a breath of fresh air guys... so pardon me for moment there...
I just realize it that since I graduated from college, I've been hit a lot of confusing and profound experience. Some of them at work, some of them in my love life, some of them about my family, ad some of them about me being me... It sure is learning experience but damn do I get those experiences at price.
That's also the reason why I've been kind of reluctant to write coz I don't wanna whine...but I just can't I help it I guess:P
It all has taken me a step back to think and think again about who I am, why I'm here, and the reason I'm doing what I'm doing.
There are some things in life that you can't just deny, There are some things in life you just can't do anything about it, There are things in life you just have to live and deal with it.
Well, I'm well aware of my own capability, I'm well aware of my heart and myself... Despite all that's been said and done, I'm humbled to be able to learn from it.
I've been hit by the worse things that can ever happen to my feelings... I've been hit by the worse things that could ever happen in my work... and I've been fighting myself... trying to avoid my craziness to erupt and eventually do something really crazy...
It finally snap me... I just have to learn to let it go, let it flow, and just work things out while it's going.
I can't consider myself as a perfectionist but I often pressure myself to get things done well. I have high expectations and that's been hurting me all these time. I'm not saying that it's bad to aim high but you gotta prepare for a fall down. That's where I was hit the worst. I overthink things, I overdo things, and I overfeel things... and in the end I was just hurting myself.
To cut the long story short, I gotta learn how to relax... take everything easy and focus more in more important things at hand.
I will start a long distance relationship in a couple days... It won't be easy and I know what I'm about to face... well I'm just gonna deal with everything that's going happen to me. I'll just swallow everything that's given to me. The pounding will not stop and perhaps I'll just have to be strong.
Well... that's it for now folks... I'll write again soon.
Peace

Untitled

2006-08-03T13:20:00.000+07:00

It's been a month since my last post... guess I've been slacking too much:P
ok... what are the news... well, there's the quake, tsunami warning, and the Israel War... then there's friends gathering in TA, jokes and gossips... u know the usual... I miss those days... really my carefree days where all I have to think about is studying... now the whole world seems like a different setting... So, let me tell y'all still studying out there: ENJOY YOUR FREAKING STUDYING TIME!!!!

If my dad read my post, he'll say,"you're studying too, in a society university!" Yes... gotta admit that... however, in society university or so it's called... you don't get bad grades... worse... you get a pile of sh*t as your grades... whether you do well or bad... you still get crap...

If I were to grade my return to Indonesia, I'll give it an F, a big fat freaking F... Yes, I'm happy to be with my family, friends, and relatives... I'm happy that I'm in a relationship now... but damn... aside of that what else can I be happy with? The traffic is crazy... the people's mentality is overwhelming, and let's not get into work ethics shall we? I may have put too much expectation on their work ethics and attitude... and I've gotta learn how to work the "Indonesian Ways"....

Well, I guess that's life and I just have to deal with it... it's too good to be true... That's why I attach to you the song "Untitled" by Simple Plan which is really how I feel now...

Untitled by Simple Plan

I open my eyes

I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:

How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Well, fate hasn't been too cruel to me... but the song just describes how I really feel now... Anyways, I'll be back when I have something better to write about k?..... or not.....:P

Peace

Daily Horoscope 1st of July 2006

2006-07-01T10:26:00.000+07:00

The Bottom Line
Someone who can't be easily ignored will monopolize your time, but you won't mind.
In Detail
A gigantic personality blows into your life early on today and upsets some of your carefully laid plans. But even if upheaval results, this person's charm outweighs all of the negative impact. They'll probably monopolize most of your time, but you won't mind. That's because you're suddenly very easygoing -- and you can thank all of the strong positive energy that's shining in your life for your new and improved outlook. Sometimes it can be lots of fun when things get off track.

I was really surprised to see this horoscope... Friendster's daily horoscope has been accurate for me... My last post was about me in my downside but really now I'm full of positive energy!!! I have thank God for all these... All my problems seem to be outweighed by all the upside mood these few days. I did the worse thing in my life and suddenly all my luck change... just like in the movie "Just My Luck." I thank everyone who's been my support... and God has been kind to me... Lady Luck is in my direction now and I want to use it as well as possible.

Maggie and I seem to bury all the hatchet and start fresh.. So far it's been great. I admit all was my fault and I do not wish to repeat that mistake. I will be more careful with my steps and hopefully all ends well.

Many things are happening these days... and I'm trying to learn from every source I can absorb... My friend's experience, their stories, their mistakes, and their positivity... I'm lucky to be able to see all these and I hope I can never stop learning... I want to learn to make mistakes, fix them, and be better from it in all aspect... My writing today has been very positive... I hope it can influence most of you readers... We might not be in the best situation at all times but we gotta be patient and make the best possible outcome from it. Prepare for the worst but don't ever give up!
Peace

Done the worst mistake in my whole life

2006-06-23T10:44:00.000+07:00

I might have done the biggest mistake in my whole life...
Letting myself to explode and follow my emotion...
My ego consumes my action, words, and thoughts...
I apologized and I tried my best...
Now I can only hope, wish, and pray...
My heart is still full of guilt, anxiety, and tears but I still have love...
I want to survive this... I want to be better... I want all of us to be better...
Please... God... This whole year have been a tough ride for me...
Full of tears, full of anger, full of heartbreak... I know this is just a start...
More bumps are ahead of me but please give me the strength I need... the patience I have to rely on and a clear mind...
I still have love... the only thing I can count on now... hopefully it'll help me survive...
In Your Hands I lay my fates... Please show me a clearer path to walk on...
Peace

Twenty Two Chocolates and a Piece of Heart

2006-06-07T23:40:00.000+07:00

KitKat
CadburyDairyMilk
Cadbury Break
Silverqueen Chunky
TOP
BengBeng
Hazelnut Chocolate Bar
Suzanne Nougat
Toblerone
Fonnut
Almond Choco
Timeout
Delfi's Pop
Delfi's ChicChoc
Delfi's Treasures
Apollo
Nestle MilkyBar
Nestle Crunch
Duplo
ChaCha Peanut
Van Houten
Bella Crispy Bar

Under it, a half piece of heart...

Lemme explain, those are what I got for my birthday 22 piece of chocolate and a half piece of heart: 22 chocolates represents the 22 years of my life... Why chocolate?Chocolate represents every experience that is sweet, bitter, milky, rough, and full of flavors...

A half piece of heart is what I found after 22 years of my life... a half piece that belongs to Maggie... and she has the other half and that's mine... Together, it would make a complete piece of heart...

She might or might not read this post but I just wanna say, she's given me a birthday to remember. It's symbolic, meaningful, romantic, and profound... and it's one of the day where I was lost in a deep and meaningful feelings. What other kind of birthday could I ask for more? Nothing... I love you Mag!

Peace

Melancholy June!!!

2006-06-06T00:19:00.002+07:00

Always
You say all the right things...
Most of the time
You do all the right things...
But
Do you feel the right thing?
Coz
I might not good with words...
I might not be the most romantic guy...
But
I'm feeling you!
Never do you
Seem to express how you feel
Never do you
Seem to be happy with me as you were with your friends
Never do you
Let me feel you!
Sometimes
It tortures me
Sometimes
It delights me
I'm fighting myself... I ain't gonna let ego consume my love over you...
Coz the truth is
I don't know why I tears
I don't know why I feel what I feel
The only thing I know
Is I love You So!!!

Captain's Log

2006-05-30T17:53:00.000+07:00

Day 145:
32 days have passed since I sailed... My ship is cruising back to England after a long trade talk with the locals. My crew's worn out, my supplies short, and myself has lost confidence. The trade went well, the locals seem to like the British present in their territory but my heart is bothered...
My time there, I was accompanied by her... Her smile could calm the storm, her voice is like a soothing breeze, and her eyes is like a shining moonlight... She helped me with the trades, talking to their rich and influential merchants. She told me how to win their hearts and finally she helped me successfully negotiate a win-win terms with the locals.
Never have I ever met a lady so dear to my heart...not even my fiance... I swear... I think I'm falling for her. A few weeks spending days with her, we began to know each other better. She cares about me and I do too about her. I know it's not love at first sight but it just strikes me so fast... I realized my time there is not long, I had to use my time to its best... We often talk till dawn breaks... She enlightened me with their lives and I told him about Britain...We are totally different people... I believe in Gospel and she has her own beliefs... We eat bread and potatoes, they eat rice and spices, we devote our service to the King and Queen, they serve mother earth to their life... It's so different....
I couldn't help to express how I feel... I let it out... She shed tears and told me she feels the same way... There was that delightful moment for a short time but then I understand my time to bid farewell has come... It happened rather quick but it couldn't feel more real than this... We were both hurt, how can two so different people destined to meet, love, and share their feelings without being to feel the joy of love????
Till this day, I still have her in my mind. My nights were sleepless, my meals weren't enough, and my thoughts scrambled. Must I get her out of my mind??? No... but perhaps... I don't know... My dad once told me, "the sea is unpredictable, sometimes you just have to follow where the wind blows you!" Does life behave like the ocean? Must we anchor our ships and stop??? or must we float with the current and blown by the wind???
Soulmate??? I always thought soulmate is someone we might spend our whole lifetime with... But perhaps I'm wrong? Perhaps, soulmate is one whose possibly destined to be with us but could never be? Or is there no soulmate?
Captain pens off.
Dedicated to all lovers out there who were in love but not meant to be...

New Layout

2006-05-29T23:40:00.000+07:00

Whaddup guys???
Yo... I've been changing my blog layouts a couple of times... looking for the best fit... As you probably have known, it's not easy and I've had troubles from comment posting, layout sizes, link that doesn't work. etc... For most of you real bloggers might not be a problem since y'all learn blogger knowledge through the help option... But meet me... the real blogger slacker... I'm too lazy to read the help menu but I think it might be a good idea now since I'm quite into html codes...
Anyway... Thanks to Miss Cow:P I finally found a layout that I think suits me well... I may not be the most organized people in the world (actually, quite the opposite I'm hell of a mess) but I like this layout to probably motivate me to be more organized:P (wish that could happen....)
Ok hopefully with this new layout you guys are more willing to stop by and drop a line...
Aside of that, I'm currently working on a story for my blog... in other words, there are some things happening around me that inspire me to write something about it... It's still work in progress so be patient but worry not... I'm trying to make my blog more interesting but with a little touch of my originality:P y'all dig me?!
'nough bout that... I gtg....
Word!!!

Expectation

2006-05-14T22:54:00.000+07:00

I was wondering... When do we, humanbeing, actually learn to expect?
Expectation a lot of times is trap door to disasters...
We expect our friends to treat us nice...
We expect our parents to increase our allowance when we help with household chores...
We expect our gf/bf to love us back...
But when do we expect something from ourself?
We expect to be understood by others when a lot of times we don't actually understand ourselves...
I expect my parents to understand my characters,
I expect them to fulfill my wants,
I expect them to leave me alone when I want some alone time,
I expect them to go along with my opinion,
Also,
I expect my girlfriend to call me,
I expect her to say she loves me,
I expect her to do as I say,
I expect her to always be with me,
More?
I expect my friends to hangout with me,
I expect them to say nice things about me,
I expect them to accept me the way I am,
I expect them to always get along with me,
Conclusion?
It is hard to see but sometimes we always expect people to understand us.. to love us.. to say all the right things.. and expect everything happen just like we picture it would be.
Ideally speaking, it's great if it could... but don't you think, you're actually doing yourself a favor when you don't expect too much? The devil is really inside of ourselves... because we put too much expectation on others, we expect it to happen.. While realistically, we can't always get what we want... As a result, we would then blame others for that... We often complain, "My parents don't understand me." Or "My gf/bf doesn't understand me" Or "My friends just don't see eye to eye with me." Lowering your expectation may help.. Perhaps, stepping back from your own ego would win you happiness...
Word
*Courtesy of my positive side...
Peace

Gado-gado

2006-05-09T09:39:00.000+07:00

Ok2... By popular demand, I'm updating my blog... hehehehe
My bad guys... work has been consuming most of my time now... and it's really hard to drag my ass to in front of the computer and update my blog... But I promise that I will try to update my blog as often as possible.

I've been busy pursuing orders... Business is really slow. Nobody seems willing to spend their money to things that are not urgent... Even though Indonesian Rupiah has strengthen for the past couple of weeks... People are still skeptical of the condition. In my point of view, if it can last for a couple of months and there's nothing stupid as bombing, riots, or etc... it would lead to a good sign...* Light of hope:P

Speaking of Indonesian political unrest (bear with me guys, I just wanna share with y'all what happen on 2 days past labor day), on 1st of May, Labor Day, where all the other countries are celebrating and having holiday... guess what Indonesian decided to do... 1st of May is not a public holiday in Indonesia!!! and this year, labors took it to the government. To make things worse, the bill proposal of the new Labor and Employment law sounds ridicolous to the Labor Union. So what did they do? They gather around the Parliament House, demonstrating, yelling, throwing rocks, and mocking the government... They were protesting and they demanded that the government cancel the proposal... They weren't satisfied because heavy rain poured down... and the demonstrations must stop...

The protest would go on for days... The second day was ok... nothing happened... but the third day was horrible!!! Guess how many demonstrators there were on that day... 50,000 people my friend... They gather around the parliament house once again and this time is different... their protest led to violence and vandalism... They broke the fence of the parliament house, which the government said it cost them 2 billion rupiah to put on. But the police showed their professionalism by keeping it cool and keeping it safe. There was time when things heated up... Rocks were thrown by the demonstrators and tear gas and water cannon were shot by the police. The result? Traffic was crazy that day... Jams everywhere... not to forget the huge mess those demonstrators left. The trash on that day could probably pile into a 2-storey building... I was in the factory that day... a stupid thing to do while labor was protesting for a public holiday on May Day huh..... Anyway... I was taking some pictures of my machines for the new brochures and cleaning up some room for the next shipment of stock... My colleague and I were ready to leave the factory when around 100 motorcycles driven by labor union members arrived inside our factory complex... They were lobbying all the factory workers to stop working or they threaten to destroy the factory...
Luckily, we were done doing our things and my dad decided not to let the factory run that day but it didn't stop the huge crowd to gather in front of my factory and took a peek inside my factory to see if there's really no workers around... One of the securities in our factory area told us to wait inside the factory until situation got better. Panic attacked me... I was really afraid that things would go out of hand and turned out worse... Two factories were forced to stop their production... and both of them are my neighbors... the labor union members pushed the factory gate and made noise to attract attention... I could hear clearly that they were yelling out "stop working!" reject the bill proposal! and to hell with the government...

Seriously... imagine you were in my situation... trapped inside of the factory while a huge crowd is surrounding your area not letting you to get out.... what would you do other than panic?
However, cops were soon to arrive and cast them away from our complex... Not too long after that situation got better and the labor union members left our area to head for one of my dad's factory....The road was then clear so I told my driver and colleague to leave at once... I tuned in to the radio and police has already shot the tear gas and water canon to prevent more damage that could be made by the riots in front of the parliament house...
So, that was just a brief picture of what happened the other day....

You know.... there's also something I wanna share with y'all... have you ever felt that when everything is just about to head in your way, everything just blown to pieces? I really hate it when it happens....Just when I feel comfortable with someone, she has to leave..... I know that I can't just think of myself... but it's so hard to lie to myself... Three months from now a girl who I care a lot or should I probably say hold dear to my heart would leave me to China... She'll be studying Mandarin in Shanghai which is a really good program for her... When I first hear about this plan of hers, I had nothing but support... But now when she's getting ready to leave... it suddenly strikes me that it won't be as easy as I thought it would be... especially these few days as she prepared the application and everything.... I can't pretend that I'm not sad, I can't pretend that I'm not worried, I can't pretend that I don't really want her to go... But it's for her best interest..... I'm trying really hard not to overreact and do something I would regret so I'm really trying to fight my own ego... Hopefully, it would all turn out good. I just want to spend the rest of three months with her as well as possible... I want us to survive this challenge... I realize that Long Distance Relationship isn't something that everybody looks forward to and besides it takes a lot of patience, will-power, determination, care and love for each other... I believe both of us have that... and we will try our very best to survive it!!!
I know a lot of my friends are facing similar or probably the same situation as I am now... but if we really care about our loved ones... we gotta be strong and not afraid to deal with it!!! Everybody can do it!!! It's challenging but it's possible.....So Ganbatte!!!!!!! Jiayou!!!!!!!! Keep our spirit up!!!!
Well.... I guess that's it for now... hope you all are not as lousy as I am....
Peace

Kenangan Terindah

2006-04-20T01:11:00.000+07:00

Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itupun aku mampu untuk mengenangmu
Darimu kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati..

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupmu
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

by Samson

If y'all know me well... Indonesian songs aren't really the type of songs that I fancy... but hear ye... hear ye..... I feel that the lyrics of "Kenangan Terindah" by Samson applies to a lot of us... so I'd just want to share the lyrics with y'all... Hopefully, we can all learn something from it.
Peace

there are more to basketball than just basketball

2006-04-08T12:27:00.000+07:00

On Friday, March 31, 2006, Mbak Hani wrote in her blog:
I have watched quite a few basketball games these past weeks..and the more i watch it the more i think that the game gives a pretty similar picture on life in general, the only difference is that it is played on a smaller and simpler stage. I believe we can follow example on how we're supposed to live our life from how a good basketball player conduct his game and how he handles his attitude on and off the court So here are some thoughts that i have gathered from watching too many games.. (maap yaa kalo nggak penting..:p)- Life is just like a basketball game, there's always the ups and downs. In basketball, sometimes you lead, sometimes you have to trail..and when you're up by more than 10 points doesn't mean you can sleepwalk for the rest of the game, you still have to play your A game, be aware and watch your back because your opponent will try hard to snatch the victory away from you. nothing is for granted.- I have learned that mo matter how bad you are beaten, you will always see hope. Being beaten is often a temporary condition, GIVING UP is what makes it permanent. Besides, the world doesn't stop for your grief, so you might as well fight your way through the game. remember, it isn't over till the shot clock hits zero and the buzzer beats. one second certainly can change the outcome of the game, unless you're down by 10 with 5 seconds to go..but even then..you can still make the situation better. I know a loss is still a loss, but there is a difference between losing by 20 points and losing by 5 points. - If you win games, win with class, you don't need to rub it in your opponent's place about how you are better than them..and when you lose, don't be a sore loser, don't whine and make excuses, just feel grateful that you get to experience it all. - Sometimes, the players have some off night, a night where they couldn't throw a rock in the ocean, much less the basket. But there are still other things you can do to help by playing good defense, rebounding, setting up screen and all that. Same thing happen in life too, maybe you just lost your job and can't help your family financially..but you can still do other things to help in the meantime...or maybe you don't have have much money left in your disposable account to help the poor, but you can still do other things to help like donate some of your used clothes or something (aduh kok contohnya uang2 terus yaa....I'm so lacking in analogy.:p).- Your mental has a lot to do with how you play your game. Your opponent might be talented and have that famous school name on their jerseys and have a hall of fame coach sitting on the sidelines..but then so what..it doesn't mean you can't compete with them. the thing is to not be easily intimidated, it doesn't mean that you have to disrespect other people or your opponent, but you just have to realize that they are all human too and they are not immune to losing. besides, it is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters the most. so you just got to be tough and lay it all on the court. tough times never last, but tough people do.- Same goes if you are from the so called power conference..you might be talented, but if you are not willing to give 100%, somebody else will. nothing is a gimme.- Respect has to be earned, and in basketball..it is earned on the court. you don't need to be offended when others do not respect you because you're not from the power conference. by being offended means that you're not content with yourself. - Don't be selfish. teamwork is the key. you may have the all american atheletes, but if they don't play together, it won't mean a thing, it might win you games, but not championship. - Be cool. just..be..cool. don't yell and curse at the referee (or anyone else for that matter) ...or doing anything that shows your anger. relax, it's not a life and death matter. losing your composure only makes it easier for your opponents..they are the ones smiling cause you've let them know that you're frustrated. just like in life..you need to be able to manage your emotion, you need to have a poise to get the job done and have the attitude of a winner. losing your composure signals insecurity.-Preparation is the most important thing, the will to win is worthless if you don't have the will to prepare. you can't depend on your luck, afterall luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. (coach Darrel Royal)anyone want to add to this?..:p

I'm truly touched by her analogies... As a basketball maniac, I've always thought of basketball being one of the greatest sports in the world. It involves everything: talent, precision, hard-work, team-work, strategies, prediction, luck, time-management, and mostly everything that we use in our daily life. Post like Mbak Hani's is really motivating... Especially when you feel the whole world is dragging you down... So I just wanna share with y'all what you can learn from basketball:P
Btw: thanks to Mbak Hani for a great lesson:P
Peace

What Your Birthday Means???

2006-04-05T14:18:00.000+07:00

Your Birthdate: June 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy.And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you.Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights.You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice!
Your strength: Your self sufficiency
Your weakness: You despise authority
Your power color: Maroon
Your power symbol: Hammer
Your power month: July

Quiz that sounds right...

2006-04-04T09:48:00.000+07:00

Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Oro.........

2006-03-24T12:02:00.000+07:00

My bad peeps... I'm trying to update my blog as often as I can... but sometimes I just can't pour it to words to entertain y'all! Fari stole my idea to recap AI...(bad Fari, bad Fari!)
It's forced me to write about something else then... tomorrow, I'll be heading back to Belitung for All Soul's Day celebration... It's a day where Chinese people go to their ancestors' cemetery and pay respect. The rituals usually start with cleaning the cemetery and prayers. It then continues with each member of the family paying respect and food offering to the ancestors... Of course we won't literally offer the food... just symbolically speaking... Then, we all would bring back the food and feast it afterwards... Well, at least that what we would do... I've been away from home for almost 4 years... so it's been a while since my last All Soul's Day prayer... I'm really looking forward to it.
Business has been so-so... I'm getting more support from my dad and it's been going great. We are reconstructing the management system in our company. Hopefully, we can make our management better... I want everything to be more organized and spread out. With the present condition, most of jobs will go back to me and my dad's hands... What we lack is the middle management people who can be responsible enough to operate and move... Courage and responsibilities... those are the two qualities I'm looking for now.
What else? Pretty much nothing... got scolded the first time by my customer even though it's not my fault... I ended up apologizing coz you know... customer is always right:P Maggie and I have been going well...She's gonna start her first job Monday...Congrats Mag! I'm proud of you. I wish you all the best with your first job.
Kak, how're you doing? R u feeling better? I went to the doctor last week and I'm ok now... Wulan you were sick too... how are you now? I heard snow is down in St. Louis... Y'all enjoying the weather? After reading Fari's blog and talking to Budi via MSN today... I realize that the hot topic nowadays is the RUU APP... I never pay attention to this bill... I think it's absurd and nonsense... Besides, our country must deal with our economy first!!! Unemployment hasn't skyrocketed but it's been steady for the past couple of years... Economic growth has also been stagnant... Foreign investors are actually eyeing us... but they doubt our political stability... So, with more pressing matters at stake, I really think the government should ignore that antipornography bill proposal... Focus more on renewing and revising the foreign investment bill policy, small to medium business policy, etc. Is it more important to worry about seeing nude women in public or would you worry more about seeing hungry and poor people everywhere? I don't know... that's just what I think... Feel free to say what you guys think...
Peace

Sickness....Sickness... Go AWAY!!!!

2006-03-16T21:58:00.000+07:00

Gosh.... the title really describes what I wish for right now. When I got back from US, I caught a terrible cold and throat infection for about two weeks... and now... the freaking thing is coming back again. I had to go to the doctor today to get it checked. The doctor gave me a couple of medicines and it's been driving me nuts. I can't feel my head, my throat is on fire, and I have runny nose.... Please go away... I don't want to spend my weekend sitting at home being miserable...
Anyway... enough about infection, medicines, and cold... I got another small order and I had a problem installing the filter yesterday. The story goes like this: the owner of the house decided to buy a filter from me to handle his water odor and taste problem. So, I offered him the right filter for the job. He agreed on the price and he asked me to get him a water pump to replace what he has now. I asked him what type of pump and went asking around of prices. I reported to him with a couple of options and he chose one. Well yesterday, when my technician went over to install the filter and the pump, his wife told my technician that they didn't need this type of pump... Instead they wanted a smaller pressure type of pump. My technician called me and asked me to get the pump exchanged. I mean it's not like we bought the pump in Walmart where we can return it without saying what's the problem with it... you know what I mean???!!! In Indonesia, business just don't run like that.... am I right??? Anyway, I was freaking out... I told the lady that I bought the pump according to the demand of her husband. She replied, "my husband doesn't understand the problem at the time." Without giving me any solution. If they want to pay for both of the pumps then, I will be gladly do it for her...
Luckily, the pump was never opened and I called our supplier to see if we can exchange it with a smaller one. They told me I could so, I told my technician to get it ready for today's installment. I was frustrated because Indonesian customers are beginning to have this type of attitude. They don't care about the condition of sellers like me... All they care about is they can get the stuff they want for a cheap price and put all the other burden on us, the seller... Argh!!!! Indonesia, my friends.... still has a long way to go for improvement... trust me on that...
Anyway... let's talk about something lighter...Mag and I are going great so far... We decided to get Esia, a CDMA cell phone service coz it's cheaper... It's Rp. 1000 for an hour of talk... imagine that!!! I mean it's still not like unlimited minutes from T-Mobile family plan that I want so bad!!! Now we can talk to each other more often and longer... I hope we can get together this weekend.. Pink Panther is out....:P
Then... I've been reading Fari's blog about American Idol.. I started to follow the show since I got back here. Fari... I like Elliot because he really can sing... but... I was kind of sad when Gideon got eliminated and they pick Ol' Country Bucky instead of him... I think Gideon can really sing... I can't really say Taylor's performance wowed me... but everybody seems to like this guy... he's kind of freaking me out actually... his style is kind of weird... I agree that Ace got the look... but when he sang Butterflies last week... man he's incredible... I wasn't really happy with the top 12... I think Ayla should be in there instead of Melissa...Anyway that's last week's news. This week is a different story...For the guys: Bucky's Superstitious was great! Elliott was just ok... Chris was great!!! Ace was bad...Kevin was just ok and Taylor still didn't impress me...why does everybody like him? For the girls: Melissa was horrible...she forgot the lyrics...Mandisa was great, Kellie was bad.. I think she's in the top 12 because she's cute, Lisa and Paris were great, and Katharine was ok...
In my opinion there are a couple that can really sing: Mandisa, Paris, and Lisa for the girls and Chris and Elliott. But speaking of votes... I think looks will still has a lot of point over talents. I really like the decision that Melissa is gone... but I could be even happier if Gideon and Ayla could be in there...
That's all for now guys... Wait for my next post will ya?! Peace!!!

My First Sales Order....

2006-03-08T21:57:00.000+07:00

Gosh...... When people say text book theory is a lot easier than the real deal... they are telling the truth...
2+ Months after I graduated and started doing marketing for my dad's company.... finally... a purchase order!!!
I've been waiting for the freaking sales to happen... I don't want to throw my bachelor's away and not be able to use it to practice...I'm happy to see it happen. My mom shook my hand and congratulated me... My dad said that should boost up your confidence and keep it up...I'm happy for the encouragement and I hope I won't disappoint my parents. I still have a long way to go so I wish that I can learn more and more along the way.
Anyway... I'm glad it finally happened... and hopefully many will still come... I'm still waiting and following up on a couple good prospect buyers... Wish me luck guys...
Say... how y'all been doin?
Peace

The OC

2006-03-07T21:12:00.000+07:00

You know... people have been talking about this show for quite some time... and I always wonder what is this show all about that makes everybody's talking about it. So..... tonight was the first night I watched the freaking show (how pathetic)......
Ok, tonight's show was about Ryan got jealous... he saw Luke and Marissa talking and seems to be making up after Luke cheated on her. Well actually, Ryan didn't find out what actually Marissa and Luke talked about in the room... He went before he could even listen to everything... I'm guessing Ryan was seeing the green-eyed monster right after Luke's trying to hold Marissa's hand and made a move on her. Ryan also didn't tell Marissa if he saw them talking afterwards. He ended up tackling Luke pretty bad on soccer practice as a result of his jealousy. That night, Marissa came over to Ryan's house and asked about what happened. Still pissed, Ryan ended up escalating the whole issue and they got into a bigger fight. However, Ryan realized that he's wrong and apologized to Marissa on the Farris Wheel (they got stucked on the Farris Wheel courteousy of Anna). Marissa thought what Ryan did was so sweet; how Ryan got up on the Farris Wheel just to talk to her even though that Ryan's fear of height. The show ended with them making out..........
Anyway.... what I wanna share with you guys is maybe the concept of jealousy....you know... when's the right time to be jealous...why, and how?I might be thinking too much but some people just get jealous so easily even without a valid enough reason... Take me personally for an example: I'm super sensitive for a guy...(ask those who know me well:P) and the worst thing is I got jealous so easily (it may come with the package from being sensitive)...I mean, I know that I might not have enough reason to be jealous but why do I still feel jealous? I can't synchronize what I have in mind with what my heart has to say... What's the deal with that? Is it my will power? Is my mind over matter control not enough? Or what? What do you guys think? Any ideas? Comments, input, and opinion are highly appreciated...
Holler peeps!

A very Good Sunday........

2006-03-07T00:28:00.000+07:00

Yo peeps!
hehehe.... y'all might be wondering this friend of yours are crazy... one day he's insanely pissed and another day he's as happy as small child.
Well, despite my terrible, horrible Saturday.... I had a wonderful Sunday... So there's justice in this world in fact guys. As long as you wanna be patience and wait for it:P
Sunday, I hung out with my folks during the day and went out with Maggie at night. That whole day was fun. One of my relatives is getting married... She's my age... and yet she's getting married... sometimes I think to myself: are they getting married too young? Or am I the old school guy? Anyways, the whole family went shopping for the prep of the marriage. I might have to go back to Belitung for the wedding...
We then, went to see our soon-to-be house. My mom has been dying to move to the new house but it's still building... It might take a couple more months... so mom... be patience:P
Afterwards, I picked Maggie up and we watched Final Destination 3. That is one sick movie... The whole movie is climax... and is nerve wrecking all movie long...I mean it looks like the whole point of the movie is to kill all those people...Anyway... it was a fun date. But I can get to the details...It will be too many unimportant things might be boring to y'all so I won't even bother to spare it.
The point is after a horrible saturday and came this wonderful sunday it's amazing...It's like getting a drop of water after a horrible drought...
It's a new week now and today has been an OK start... hopefully it'll go on until the rest of the week. Have a great week y'all!
Peace

Pissed Off!!!!!!

2006-03-04T20:18:00.000+07:00

I'm telling you.... I've never been so pissed....... wait... I might be exaggerating... but damn I haven't been so pissed of for so long... It makes me wanna yell out my "fave words" (my bro's in STL holler! y'all know what I mean:P)
Anyway... the story goes like when you're dying to do something... but something prevents you to do it... no matter how you force yourself to do it... you just can't do the things you want!!!
Ever feel like that? Well it happened to me... I can't really say what it was... but it really sucks... coz to make things worse...... one thing leads to another and it ends up making me feel like a total fool!!!
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just wish these things would never happen to me again... too many times did I sacrifice myself for the somebody else's; too many times did I cancel my plans just to put somebody else's plans ahead of mine........ and I feel stupid in the end......
My mood level now (8:36 PM Jakarta time): Feels like I want to blow up to pieces.... feels like there's a thorn in my heart....and I really feel like screaming................
Wait... is it that bad??? Yeah.... kind of.... coz I really feel stupid... Some people told me: we can't always get everything that we want... I keep telling myself that just as a consolation... but damn that doesn't work... I don't know....... I'll just have to let it go I guess... change the chapter of today's incident...and turn myself to new page tomorrow.... wish me luck guys...
Peace

At last... Update.......

2006-03-04T10:53:00.000+07:00

Whaddup Y'all?!
It's been what........ more than half a year since my last update... I was too lazy and busy to update my beloved blog...
But... I never forget about it... so here I go... I hope I can go on and write about what's going on in my life now... It might not be interesting but I hope I can share it with my friends:P What's up Y'all in St. Louis???
July 2005- Dec 2005:
I was busy getting my courses done and guess what? Dec 18th 2005, I graduated... I was the first person on the graduation list coz my Surname starts with the letter "A." I can still remember the announcer said,"Graduates of December 2005 for College of Business Administration, Sigit Angdrew, Summa Cumma Laude!" I walked up too fast before he even called my name... Dean Wormer told me "hold on a minute, let him finish announcing:P then he said, congratulations!" I walked up to Chancellor George shake his hand get my "diploma" (it was just the diploma case without the real diploma, I had to wait 6-8 weeks to get my real diploma), and took a picture with him. Then, I was supposed to shake D'Andre's hand....(he's the UMSL Student Association President) but instead he hugged me! He said," buddy, congratulations! I didn't know you're graduating... so I guess you're leaving us, eh? I told him,"yeah, I'm going back for good in a couple days..."He replied,"good luck back home and keep us posted!"
Then, I went back to my seat after had my picture taken again... Suddenly, the Guest in Honor said,"look around you and think for a moment... think of whomever made you sit here today.... think of those who supported you all this time, who believed in you, and who are here today to celebrate your graduation day. Point at them to recognize their support and help and express your gratitude! Those words for some reason really hit the nail on the head. A couple teardrops rolled my cheek....uek(let me reword that) I was really touched by that sentence... to think about those people who really supported me... Thanks Y'all!
Dec 2005-now:
Went to NYC with my parents and sis.... it was a great li'l vacation... Enjoyed every moment of it... then... I flew back to Indonesia... Here's the deal: I didn't tell anybody I'm coming back home or when... but guess what... on our transit in Singapore... I met a couple of friends who are going back to Indonesia from Singapore... Damn it!!! I was going to surprise them but they surprised me........
Then... Y'all should know who's the first person I called... Not Budi! He's in Jakarta that time... but heck no will I call him first!!! (Maap yach Bud:P) I called her... asking her out on New Year's Eve... She wasn't really surprised... she said she dreamt about me coming back home just the night before I got back... How do you explain that?!
Then... New Year's Eve... We watched... KingKong:P It was ok the ending sucks but it's ok...the real thing was the person I went out with not the movie:P
Since then... everything sailed through well. The peak was V'day... I finally asked her to be my gf... The story goes... we went for a dinner and I dropped the magic words afterwards...
She didn't directly say yes... I told her, if you wanna think about it first.. go ahead...
That night... we talked on the phone... and we discussed about it... she then said yes........
***Fireworks*** It was spring in my heart that night... I've waited long for it... there's a lot of drama and stories before her... and I intended to end all those dramas now and get real...
It's been 2+ weeks since we got together and I've had nothing but fun... She amazed me all the time and I like what she brings out of me. A lot of positivity... and I appreciate that! Thanks hon...(if she even reads my blog:P)
Ok.... now let's not be in the la la land too long... I'm currently working for my dad. I've followed my dad's footsteps since who knows how long... and now here I am working for him. A whole different experience... I never imagine I would face a lot of interesting challenges... If I would have worked for somebody else, I would never experience such things... Don't get me wrong... it's tough... but I'm liking the challenges... wish me luck peeps!
Ok, I think it's enough update for now... I will keep this blog updated... and I hope y'all enjoy reading it...
Peace

I'm Asian!!!!

2005-07-08T23:26:00.000+07:00

You scored as Asian. Nice You Were Meant to be Asian If you Are Good for you.

What Race Were You meant to Be?
created with QuizFarm.com

Thanks to Tira for the link:P
Peace

Which religion is the right one for you?

2005-07-08T23:17:00.000+07:00

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already.
In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth.

Buddhism

79%

Paganism

71%

Hinduism

71%

Islam

63%

agnosticism

63%

Satanism

50%

Judaism

46%

Christianity

46%

atheism

29%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

History of Valentine's Day

2005-02-08T14:56:00.000+07:00

Valentine's Day is well known in today's society as a holiday for lovers to show their appreciation for each other, but many are unaware that it is also the anniversary of the death of a man. St. Valentine, a Catholic bishop, was sentenced to death around 270 AD by Emperor Claudius II for his disobedience. He secretly married couples despite the fact that the emperor canceled all marriage ceremonies after having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military. The emperor believed that the reason the men did not want to join his military was because they didn't want to leave their lovers and their families. Many young people went to visit the bishop while he awaited his day of death. One of the young people that visited him frequently was the daughter of the jailer. She was allowed to sit and talk to the bishop and sometimes they would talk for hours. The bishop and the young girl became quite close and, as a result, a strong bond was formed. On the day he was expected to die, he left her a note thanking her for her friendship and her loyalty and signed the note, "Love your Valentine."As a result of the note that was left for the young girl, it became a tradition for people to exchange notes in celebration of Valentine's Day.

By Shante Davis of the Current issue February 7, 2005

argh!!!

2005-01-31T22:23:00.000+07:00

It's Monday again...... my gateway to the whole week of suffering.... torture from all the professors are impending....
Something to think about, saying is easy.... but doing what you say you're gonna do is not..... so don't say anything you don't think you can do......
For my dudes and dudettes out there, have a good week y'all!
Peace....

I am....

2005-01-11T15:13:00.000+07:00

Sigit Angdrew Ang... 20 years old... getting 21 this year...Gemini... 165 cm height, 60+kgs weight...black hair, brown eyes, fair skin...got a girl I fancy now but don't know if she has me in her mind... hopefully she does...
hope to graduate in December... planning to go back... help my dad out...
what I'm doing now? trying to figure out the riddles of human life... seems like we all have lost... have you ever felt it? felt like lost? in the middle of nowhere... no one around you... felt like alone... don't know who to turn your wheel to?
then what? when you're left alone you feel like you want somebody to be by your side all the time...but then...you will begin to feel leave me alone kind of thing...
My mind... is like twisted strings... seems to have a lot of things to think of but on another persepectives is actually unimportant to think of...
don't know, could actually care less now, can't really think now...focusing is my weak point now... so for those people who want to break me now... just try and give me another load of concentration and I'll be like twister that I saw last night....
I'm disappointed, sad, and confused... just as confused as you readers might be....
Peace out...
Gyt

Thought of the day....

2005-01-11T14:55:00.000+07:00

If a guitar's string is too tight, it will break easily.... if you tight it loosely, it will not sound as good.....

Peace

Sore Throat....

2004-11-16T06:21:00.000+07:00

First of all, Happy Ramadhan for those of you who celebrate it. May we all be forgiven for all the mistakes we did.
Last week was a crazy week.... test and case study due on the same day... big paper due on Tuesday... Fortunately, I survived.... There was nothing big going on last week.... to be honest, I felt that I didn't have a life last week... all I did was doing my paper, studying for exams, and a bunch of other school work.... All those crazy stuff ended Thursday... I did Tai Chi as usual on Thursday and we practiced the long form....we've been doing short form Tai Chi for almost 2 years now.... time for something more challenging.... I think I'll like the long form better because there are more martial arts application to it....so maybe I can apply to it to those of you who try to mess with me... hahahaha....don't mess with me boy...:P Then, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, believe or not... I shot hoops....I had fun even though my body is all sore now....:P
This morning, I just had another test.... and tomorrow, I think my group will start doing our project.... gosh... I need a break.....Good news is this weekend I'm going to Orlando to see my sister.... I miss her... hopefully, I'll get to go to Disneyland with her for FREE!!!!Hahaha, last time she got in for free hopefully, I can tag along this time:P
My parents... where are they? They're in China now... that's for sure... but they haven't called me since last weekend... Mom Dad, where are you????
Next week is also thanksgiving break... I hope Best Buy will have more stuff on sale this year... I'll wake up early morning and hunt for good deals... hopefully this time I can get blank CD's for my files...
I'm also planning to sell my car.... It's been costing me too much money to maintain.... I hope I can get a great deal this time of the year... but I have no idea what to buy yet.... I don't really have a preference, as long as it's good, efficient, and will not cost me to much to maintain it's ok! I'm thinking something like Mazda Protege, Ford Focus, or something around that class.... I wish I have more money....
That's all for now kiddos...
Peace
C-git

Whoa......

2004-11-05T02:41:00.000+07:00

First of all.... I'm sorry Far... I copied your blog.... but guess what...we got a different results.... I like the color blue but I'm not sure if the description really applies:P
Ok....it's been a while since my last blog I think.... now let's update. Election has been the hot issue these few days. Bush got reelected... A lof of people are happy and a lot of people are upset as well. It's funny to me to see how Americans reacted on the election. My class have been spending at least 1/2 hour just to discuss about the result. Most of my friends are unhappy of the results. Well, I think cheer up guys...look at the bright side... we'll have more funny pictures of Bush for 4 years:P For example the ones where he was using a binoculars which was covered by the binoculars' cover... I just found those pictures funny. Plus, not to forget those jokes and funny silly stuff said about him....
Well enough of the critisism about him... I think he's probably done something wrong but everybody deserves a second chance to fix it right? C'mon, let's move on with our lives and let's just hope America doesn't choose the wrong president. Despites of his silly actions, I think he was just doing his job as president. So, be cool with it dudes and dudettes!
Ok enough said about politics.... let's see I'm going crazy this weekend. Monday I have a test, a case study due and some assignments due! Tuesday, a major paper is due..... I don't think it's going to be a fun weekend for me y'all! I hope you guys are having better time than me!:( However on the flip side, on Friday Nov 20th, I'm going to Orlando!!!! Yeah baby!!!!! My sister is coming to Orlando, and I know I'm gonna get some freaky new rides from those theme parks rides contractors! My sis, she works for an exhibition company in Singapore. Her major field is theme parks rides exhibition. I know some of you guys will find it odd to find a living this way but in Singapore, you can exhibit anything! Literally anything! And nobody will call you freaks! Well... probably not to that extend....:P
Garnett had a great game last night, 28 points, 20 rebounds, 7 assists, 3 blocks..... man... he's going for MVP again huh?! I hope he'll get it this season and I hope T-wolves are going to be better this season! Bring that O'Brien thropy to the Wolves Den y'all! T-wolves have to be hungry this year... they have to show that willingness to win to be the champs! I wish y'all the best of luck....
Nothing much happened to me these few days... been busy with homeworks, assignments, nothing too special.... I updated this blog because of somebody's request, not to point finger at anybody but it's Amanda ok? My dear lovely sis, Ms. Cow! hehehehehe.... What's up nda??? Or should I say mmmooooooohhhhhhhhhh???? hehehehehe.....
Anyway.... how're y'all doing?
Peace
C-git

What Color Are You?

2004-11-05T02:37:00.000+07:00

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

What happened?

2004-10-29T02:25:00.000+07:00

Have you guys ever felt that sometimes peer pressure is just too much? Have you seen kids being bullied just because they're a bit different? People got singled out because you're not following the trend or anything like that? Don't you think it's unbearable?
Well here's the deal.... I'm pissed... I'm sick and tired of hearing my friends being singled out by my other friends for any reasons at all. You have your rights not to like each other but do you have to provoke other people to do the same thing? Don't group up and just hate people.... be your freaking self and don't let anybody dictate who you should like or hate! Grow up guys!!
Don't be a freaking bully!!! Nobody ever give you the rights or the power to torture other people!!
Also look back at yourself.... think about what will happen if you put yourself into somebody's position......
Anyway... it's just my outbursting emotion that I can't control.....
Let's back to my life.... my mom's result is ok... but she's still worried about this and that..... I'm going to call her tonight and cheer her up! Again, thank you all for praying for my mom and giving me support all the time.
Weekend is tomorrow... I got no plans other than basketball and sleep.........I hope this weekend is a good time!
Peace
C-git

Nostalgia: Elvis time baby!!!

2004-10-27T03:28:00.000+07:00

Can't Help Falling in Love With You

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stayWould it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
For I can’t help falling in love with you

~Elvis Presley 1962~

Dedicated to all guys and gals out there! I just thought to share this wonderful lyrics by Elvis.... Thanks Elvis for composing such a wonderful song!

Peace y'all!

*sigh.....

2004-10-22T01:08:00.000+07:00

Ok.....got the latest news bout my mom. She has polyps in her stomach...however, the doctor said it's not dangerous as it's not the type that can mutate into cancer......I'm relieved but I'm still worried for some reason.....
I have 2 huge paper due next wednesday...... luckily it's a group paper. We'll probably do ok and I won't need to burn the midnight oil this time.... I really need more sleep...I've been acting not myself lately....
Why is it so hard to like somebody? Why can't you just get her out of your mind for some time? People do stupid things when they like somebody huh???? These applies to me.... I feel stupid now.... I feel like I'm thinking of "M" constantly.... I can't really focus.... and I think it's just too much.... I need to refresh my mind... I need to stop thinking about her for a while and be down to earth...see what's in front of me and what my priorities are.... Some friends around me are probably feeling or even experiencing the same things..... I just want to let y'all know...y'all are not alone....
I haven't had these feelings for a while.... I didn't think I had problem handling it back then...but man, am I crazy this time.... I've decided.... I'll calm myself down...how? I don't know but I really need to calm down...probably spending time with myself this weekend would help...LOL I have to think about my papers first! Don't get me wrong.... I will still continue on pursuing my mission.... I just need to calm down a bit.....:P
Also, I think going to watch the Grudge will really wipe away my confused mind......or probably go to value city with sis this weekend right sis;)
now...the cards! tonight is their game 7! tonight will decide whether or not they qualified to play in the world series! I really hope that they'll win tonight and also win the world series!!!!!! That would be freaking cool!!!!!!ESPN will have "the cards win the world series" all over their magazines... and man wouldn't I be proud!!!!!!
I wanna play basketball Saturday.... I really think I need to exercise...I'm getting fat and slow... I need to get my agility back and burn those nasty fat! I don't mind putting weight as long as I stay fit!
I need to pen down now... thanks for praying for my mom y'all, I'm really happy you guys were there with me.......
Peace
C-git

I feel......

2004-10-19T05:50:00.000+07:00

Thank you guys who have been praying for my mom's condition.... I'm very glad that you guys understand what I'm going through right now.
The latest news was my mom has polyps in her stomach. We're still waiting for the endoscopy results to come out tomorrow. Hopefully, everything is ok.
GOD, please give my mom the strength and the will that she needs. Please let us, the whole family to keep supporting her and give her the courage that she needs.
On the other hand, I had a pretty good weekend. The NBA preseason game was fantastic! I couldn't believe they played pretty serious that day. After the game, we went to eat at IHOP... took a couple of pictures before my batteries were out. I'll try to post it some day this week or next week.
Didn't do anything yesterday.... woke up late, bought lunch at shu feng and then drove freddy and coci to cypress. Afterwards, went back home took a nap, woke up, procrastinate and finally did my paper...... woke up early today drove mickie to work and headed late to class. Classes today have been interesting.... I didn't feel sleepy as I use to be:P What a strange day.....
Now......time to share what I'm feeling now...... I have a mixed feelings now.....I'm worried about my mom but I am also delighted to see my friends support to me.....especially, Ms. Cow, Freddy, Joseph, Fari, Edhy, Tina, and Wulan.... Not to forget Dinar and Etha.... they've been reading my blog and understand how I feel about my mom.... thank you all for praying for my whole family.... I really appreciate it....
Then Maggie.... she's been supporting as always..... I gave her a call a few nights ago... telling her my mom's condition... she told me to keep strong and believe that everything will be ok..... Things also going pretty smooth for now.... she understands my needs and I try my best to understand hers.....We've been keeping in touch through text messaging almost everyday, and msn as well as phone calls from time to time. So far, the vibe is good..... Hopefully it will continue on.... Her birthday is coming in less than a month.... I'm planning to send her something... She's dying to see our Indonesian Night video for some reason:P so I'll probably gonna burn her a cd and send it along with the present. Ms. Cow, Wulan, Tina, Hapsari, Dinar,Mbak Hani, Mickie, you gals know what gals want.... help me out here....... While the guys, y'all should help me decide too.........
People are falling sick too... Coci wish you a speedy recovery k? Everybody else get enough rest and eat healthy food! Bless y'all!
Peace
C-git

Mother....

2004-10-16T11:59:00.000+07:00

I got this from a friend's bulletin board...check it out...

MoM is the BesT..
When you were 1 year old, she fed you andbathed you.You thanked her by crying all night long.
When you were 2 years old, she taught you towalk.You thanked her by running away when she called.
When you were 3 years old, she made all yourmeals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.
When you were 4 years old, she gave you somecrayonsYou thanked her by coloring the dining room table.
When you were 5 years old, she dressed you forthe holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.
When you were 6 years old, she walked you toschool.You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"
When you were 7 years old, she bought you abaseball.You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.
When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.
When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.You thanked her by never even bothering topractice.
When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another.You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, she took you andyour friends to the movies.You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.
When you were 13, she suggested a haircut.You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
When you were 14, she paid for a month away atsummer camp.You thanked her by forgetting to write a singleletter.
When you were 15, she came home from work,looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, she taught you how to driveher car.You thanked her by taking it every chance youcould.
When you were 17, she was expecting animportant call.You thanked her by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, she paid for your collegetuition, drove you to campuscarried your bags. You thanked her by sayinggood-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of yourfriends.
When you were 20, she asked whether you wereseeing anyone.You thanked her by saying, "It's none of yourbusiness."
When you were 21, she suggested certain careersfor your future.You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be likeyou."
When you were 22, she hugged you at yourcollege graduation. You thankedher by asking whether she could pay for a trip toEurope.
When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.
When you were 24, she met your fiancée andasked about your plans for thefuture.You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"
When you were 25, she helped to pay for yourwedding, and she cried andtold you how deeply she loved you.You thanked her by moving halfway across thecountry.
When you were 30, she called with some adviceon the baby.You thanked her by telling her, "Things aredifferent now."
When you were 40, she called to remind you of arelative's birthday.You thanked her by saying you were "really busyright now."
When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you totake care of her.You thanked her by reading about the burdenparents become to their children.And then, one day, she quietly died.And everything you never did came crashing downlike thunder on yourheart.
IF SHE'S STILL AROUND, NEVER FORGET TOLOVE HER MORE THAN EVER..AND IF SHE'S NOT, REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE....... Mom u have the greatest love of all..

After reading this poem I can't hold my tears.... My mom is sick.... I can't really keep my mind off her.... Everything the poem said has been true for me... my mom sacrifices everything to keep our family together...She puts our happiness above her own health.... She cooks for the family even though she's really sick.... she never complains about her pain, her sweat, and her tears....she gives everything, literally everything to us.....
I can't never thank her enough.... I don't think I can do anything to repay what she does for me...... For all the sons and daughters out there, give it a moment to think about it carefully....
MOM.... I Love YOU!!!!!!
GOD: Please help me, one of your humble beings dear GOD..... Please give my mother what she deserves..... Please give her strength and your bless..... Please guide HER and my whole family......Please keep all of us together.... My mother has been the solid pillar that holds our whole family together...... Please let us now distribute the whole burden together.....Please let us help her......If YOU could grant me one wish of a lifetime..... I would wish for my parents health......Please give me a chance to serve my duty as a son....... However in the end, we would just surrender under YOUR will and plan. Thank you GOD....

NB: I'm really sorry if my blog has provoked any of you.... I'm in a terrible emotional condition at the moment.....My mom is trully sick and all I can think of now is her.......

Peace......

Rainy Days.....

2004-10-15T03:06:00.000+07:00

It's been raining for a few days now...... It's kind of annoying cause it gets my shoes and pants wet all the time. Not to mention the cold temperature it causes.......
Anyway, last week I posted a recap. Now this week, I just want to summarize what the heck I've been doing.....
Friday: Went to the mall bought some stuff...then ate and relaxed at home
Saturday: Performance evaluation......Mediation in Thai temple....
Sunday: Didn't sleep all night because I had to study for test and paper due...
Monday: Exhausted....survived because of a bottle of Sprite....
Tuesday: Couldn't wake up for class ended up skipping it.....
Wednesday: Worked till 11 PM because some people just couldn't get enough of the presidential debate..... btw, GO CARDS!!!!
Today: Freezing my butt off!Watched NBA China game # 1 in the morning, went to class, and now working.....
Tonight, I'll do tai chi and work out..... got to be in shape man! Tonight is also my last dinner with Acunk.... Can't believe he's leaving.....
2 years are nothing man.... time flies..... Acunk was my first roommate. He's a cool guy....He helped me alot during my transition...he took care of me well.... He did something that I won't forget my whole life.....I was moving out from cypress and he gave me some instant food as I didn't know how to cook and I'm going to live by myself in the meadows. People might find it simple and nothing but, to me that showed that he cares. Anyway, good luck cunk! I wish you all the very best!
I chat with Ms. M this morning....been a while since our last msn chat.....We still keep in touch but only through phone text messaging. She's been busy and I've been busy as well.... However, we always spend at least 5 text messages in a day...... So, I'm hoping that I'm making some progress.....argh... not sure.....
Anyway, I got a optional case study due on Monday. I think I'm gonna do draft tonight and hopefully I can send it to my teacher tomorrow so she can take a look at it.
This weekend, I want to have fun... I know I have fun all the time but, weekend is different. It's extra fun!!!!! The bulls and cavaliers game is on Saturday night! Tomorrow Wulan asks me to go to 18+ club. 12:01 AM Sunday, NBA China Game # 2. A lot of fun stuff this weekend..... I wanna have fun!!!!!!!
I hope y'all are too! Have fun this weekend y'all!
Peace

Recap

2004-10-08T01:51:00.001+07:00

Last time I posted blog was Monday.... I was working here on South campus.... did nothing, was bored, and very stressed.... Today...... a different situation.......Let me give a recap of what's going on in my life for the past few days......
Tuesday: No class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a hell of a day!!!!!!! What did I do during those valuable time? Sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joseph volunteered to drove Coci to work.... I didn't have to wake up early..... I slept like a baby......................... Went to the library.... bumped into Oak.... chit chat was wes wos da di da dum bla bli blu du du............ talked a lot about indo nite and then he asked me to bring him to the printing services........ Then, I was summarizing my exam materials for Monday..... when Jin came.... she said she's not feeling well and asked me about subscribing a cell phone..... I told her I'll see what I can do......I drove her to the meadows and came back to campus to work..... In the evening, worked with Kyle, Jason, and Malcolm..... everything was ok.... except..... Joseph, somebody hit his car....... I'm sorry seph.... don't be sad ok? Cheer up and everything'll be fine.........again, I finished work at 11 while I was suppose to finish 10:30...... no worries still can handle it..... Got back home, ate, check my mails, do some hw, but too tired that ended up sleeping..............
Wednesday:
Woke up in the morning......... Mickie called at 6:20ish AM!!!!! She had to work at 6:30.... she woke up late and I couldn't even hear my alarm went off.........So, I changed my clothes.... washed my face gargle some water and sped to the meadows.... picked mickie up and sped to the gym!!! less than 5 minutes ladies and gentlemen!!!!!!!! Got back home, didn't sleep..... ate some layers of seaweed for breakfast... took a shower, went to school....... school was ok...... after school.... went to see Oak... brought him to the printing service..... btw, he's trying to print tickets for thai night..... it's going to be on Nov 13th..... The Thais were motivated to do better.... their president came to our indo nite and was challenged to do better............... I guess we did lit some fuel huh hihihihihihi..........Ok, so Oak and I went there talked to the manager and everything was cool. Afterwards, I went back home, had lunch, slept and went to work..... I was almost late............but luckily, JIT.... so..... I realized.... I had to work alone from 9:30 to 10:30.... Wulan was rescheduled from 3:30 to 8:30 and Jason would only work from 4:30 to 9:30....... I was a bit pissed.... but Wulan came to rescue... she helped me out.... for some specific reason:P Read her blog and you'll understand...... so work was ok.... went to meadows.... talked with Akew for a bit... and went back home..............at home, I was supposed to do some readings for my test.... but too lazy.... tired and fall asleep.......................................
Today (thursday): woke up, drove coci to work................went back home....... fall asleep.....luckily my other alarm went off at 9:00........ however, I fall asleep again.... I don't know why but I'm being a pig these few days.... sleep a lot, eat a lot, and procastinate a lot............. geez.............remember your goal for the semester git!!!!!! I promise after writing this blog I'm gonna try to study.............................................then went to class..... had fun and went to work....... ate 2 cups of instant noodles and now sitting here in front of the computer.............
I'm planning to work out tonight..... I have my tai chi class after work and promised akew and tina to work out after my tai chi class.... we'll probably end up in dinner after that and talked.....................
A lot of people are using blog now.... I found it good to control and manage my stress.......... I feel relieved after I wrote and refreshed..... ready to start for anything that's coming to me..... Look at ms. cow for example..... she's using it to contain her explosive imagination.....she's writing a story about indostlouisan girls who use blog....... haven't really talked to her a lot these days....I'm kind of occupied and she's too.... this saturday night.... akew, me and ms.cow probably gonna go to the buddhist temple.... she needs to write report about buddhism........... ok then.......now.......

Some words of wisdom from Mr. Dodol for the the day:
1. Your desire..... is the most dangerous thing in life......it's one thing that you have to control...... don't let your desire control you......Some times.... we did something wrong because we were overcame by it..... so, becarefull y'all....
2. Life is stressful..... manage your stress...... Life is complicated.... but believe in yourself..... you can do it!!!!!! take a deep breath and think over things again.... don't let stress take over you.....
3. Love..... is the most wonderful thing in the world.... but also the most painful thing in life....... have you guys watched "love actually"? some people say it's gross... I don't think so..... look at the lesson and moral values that it contains..... Love is everywhere..... love your parents, family, significant others, friends, relatives, co-worker, classmates, pets, everyone!!!! If just the world leader can notice that...... world peace y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I just realized I wrote a hell lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna stop now....
Peace out Y'all!
Dodol

d world is just not enough

2004-10-05T07:38:00.000+07:00

Saturday, a huge day..... exhausted but delighted..... The show was successful.....everybody seemed to be enjoying it. Everybody........literally everybody had that big large smile on their face..........or....errrr at least I thought they had one...........
We went back to Ms Cow's house and watched the video after that event..... I looked stupid and can't believe myself that I hit Tira so hard.......................... I feel bad..... argh................really bad.................. Kecak was also embarrassing.......... everybody said I'm the most glittering person on stage........ my light skin shone the whole room................. but I'm happy.... people smile when they see me.... they took picture with me..... even though not alot.... but I'm satisfied.... at least I feel this is what I did! I'm glad it's over and I just want to leave it behind....... I treat it as one of my biggest night..................
Yesterday... I was so exhausted............ I slept almost all day and worst thing is my work couldn't get done...... the web site is down..... my teacher emailed us today telling us that the site was attacked by virusses......... sigh.........
Today........ still tired...woke up early to drive mickie to work.... went back home online the whole time waiting for responses from the website. I stopped when I saw bird's email..... went to campus and sit in class..... Ms cow is somehow bothered by something........ I was really tired and am still tired.........maybe that event just took all my energy away.....I'm not feeling very well now and my back is hurting like hell if I straighten my body..............*$%#@!
I sent email thanking everybody for their hardwork.... but somebody's names got left out..... please understand me.... I'm a 20 year old male with hypersensitive feelings and full-of-trash mind!!!!!! I can't be perfect............... I'm not born perfect............. I won't be perfect.......... this is one of those times when I feel that everything I do always end up disastrous....... I hope those people can forgive me.....including my roomie........... he did a wonderful job....... but I didn't address that well enough.....to rub salt on my wound....I also forgot to mention ms cow's name..... she felt bad..... she thought she didn't do much for the event..... hell noooooooooooooo you did marvellous job ms cow!!!!! Everybody is damn proud of you including me............. you're the only female on the silat team! that alone tells that you are tough impressive and brave!!!!! I'm proud of you man!!!!!!
Tomorrow.... got no class!!!!!!!!!! but still got to hand in hw.......why can't teacher just give us break....... it's been one hell of a weekend.................................I'm still going to enjoy it though..... but I think it won't be much of an excitement.... I got 1 big test, one project, a paper due next week......... so I guess I'll better get to it tomorrow..... I'm blessed that I can use my time tomorrow to rest and prepare for everything else...........
Peace out bloggers!

Working boredom attacks!!!!

2004-10-01T03:38:00.000+07:00

I'm working....... Bored, tired, sleepy, and geez just get me out of here.........
Again, it's one of those days...... so dull................ Woke up early today picked up Cochie and drove her to work..... I guess I'm gonna help Mickie and her out for quite a while..... I have no other intentions honestly, I just pity them if they have to walk from the Meadows to the Gym in chilling weather...... So just trying to make everybody happy......
Got bad news from Sapi...... I didn't double-check what Jason printed last night at work....The classes schedule that we printed out was wrong..... hate to waste the paper and ink.... but I can't turn back time.......
Saturday's D BIG DAY Y'all!!!!! Nervous? Yeah. Anxious? Hell, yeah! Exhausted? You bet!!!!!! Going to rehearsal and meeting for it tonight...... But before that, I'll probably do some tai chi just to relax myself mentally................
I'm praying for my whole family, friends, and everybody around me to be happy..... I want to see them happy all the time...... My prayer will especially go to a few people: T, C, and S.

T: I hope you'll get better soon..... I don't like the pale look in your face.... I really care about you because you care about me too..... It's karma, I shall repay what you've been doing to me..... and I really want you to be happy. Be strong and forgiving..... it's hard..... but I know you're a wonderful person and be able to do it.....

C: I wish you could have done something better. I'm disappointed but I will still pray for you. I hope someday you'll understand and turn a new leaf.......

S: Honestly, I don't really care about you....you've done something wrong in my point of view... I'll forgive you but it's gonna take me awhile to forget about it. I'm still gonna pray for you..........

Peace......

It's getting cold!!!!

2004-09-30T18:51:00.000+07:00

It's getting cold in St. Louis.....
Two or three weeks ago I wish that the weather would get cooler. But now, I take my words back..... I don't really want to face winter.... yet..... Right now, I can really a vacation to a beach with nobody that I know. Sun on top of my head glaring its ray and burning my skin; the sounds of splashing waves hitting the coast; and the breezing wind.......
OMG, I'm daydreaming.....:P